2016 in Review, and New Year's Resolutions

2016.  What a year, eh?

I've been sitting here trying to sum up the year, and it's honestly hard to do.  I am not going to sit here and call it the worst year ever, or call it a Dumpster Fire of a year.  I don't even know if this year will actually ascend to become one of those Years of Wonder, the ones that history majors can recite off in their sleep (to whit:  1066, 1492, 1516, 1776, 1815, 1863, 1914, 1939, 1944, 1969, 1989, 2001).  It was a year were Globalization and Liberal Democracy were beset with setbacks, where the British voted for Brexit and we (and I still can't really believe we did this) voted for Donald Trump to be....to be the President of the United States.  Phew.  It's hard to even to write it.

And there was a Syria, and the Siege of Aleppo which was Tweeted in real time, and all we could really do was wring our hands in anguish, if we cared to do anything at all.

Meanwhile, Death stalked the Earth like a giant, stalking thing, reaping the lives of our favorite celebrities at the rate of 0.4 celebrities per day, which is worth like 10 normal people and some 100 Syrians, apparently.  I usually don't get too misty eyed over the deaths of singers and actors and the like, especially when they are advanced in years, though the passing of Ellie Wiesel gave me pause (I actually had the privilege of seeing him speak at VT), and the recent loss of Carrie Fisher and her mother Debbie Reynolds is a sad story, proof that you can still indeed die of a broken heart.  But honestly, good people, I can't spend everyday next year mourning the passing of yet another movie star or singer, no matter how endearing and beautiful and incredible they may have been; I can't do that anymore than I can summon outrage at Donald Trump over almost everything he says no matter how much he deserves it.  It's just too exhausting.

So a bad year for the world.

But oddly enough....it was a good year for me.

Work is going well.  I got a few poems in a regional journal.  Kids are healthy.  Wife has found a bit of joy with Jamberry and Trim Healthy Momma.  I finished my masters degree (pending some administrative stuff). The new anti-depressants seem to be still doing their job, two months in, and that is a blessing.

I also read a whole mess of books. I met my goal of reading 20 books, and as I am an engineer by training I felt compelled to do run some numbers.  Here are the salient facts:

• 20 Books, a total of 8759 pages
• Marickovich's Top Pick of 2016:  "At the Existentialist Cafe" by Sarah Bakewell
• Marickovich's Honorable Mention 2016:  "Napoleon:  A Life" by Andrew Roberts
• 4 books by Female authors, 16 by Male authors
• All books written by White people
• 13 books were written by English Authors.  7 books were by American Authors. 

The most striking thing is that 13 books that I read were written by English authors.  Note that that is not British authors, they were all rather English.  Not a Scot or Welshman in the bunch.  

And, perhaps more damningly, not a dark skinned person either.  

So that gets to my New Year's Resolutions.  Last year I picked the squishy and vauge Oprah like mantra of "Live into your best self".  Well, this year, I am going to make it simpler.  

First, I am going to try and read 20 books again.  It won't be easy, because I have some real heavy hitters sitting on the shelf that I want to get to this year (Montaigne, Rebecca West,), but I think its a worthy goal.  But next year, when I put my books into a spread sheet, I want to see a but more diversity.  More women, different races, maybe a few more nationalities.  Heck, maybe even a Scotsman (though lets not push it).  It's not merely for the sake of political correctness, for the sake of seeking diversity in its own right. Rather, it is because if this year has taught me anything it is how essential it is to hear other voices and other experiences, lest we get stuck in our own silos.  It's hard to get out of your particular niche in society and see things from a different point of view.  Art (and in particular novels and poetry) is the bridge on which we experience other voices and gain a broader perspective.

Second, I really want to start doing more Yoga.  I don't seek oneness with the self or anything like that.  I merely want to make sure that in 20 years when I get out of a chair after a meeting at work I can do so without all my joints cracking like a kid popping bubble wrap, and without my back and limbs being stuck like the blades in a poorly maintained pocket knife (a third resolution is to write with a little more imagery, experiment with similes, in case you haven't guessed).  

Well.  Adios 2016.  Hello 2017.  I'm not sure hanging a new calendar on the wall is going to change things much for the world at large.  As the white water rafting guide said to us when he missed his line on Sweet's Falls:  "I'm sorry Fellas...this is gonna hurt".  

  

Books You May Not Like: The Pickwick Papers, by Charles Dickens

In the midst of The Election, in need of escape, I picked up the Pickwick Papers.

I have owned a copy of this venerable text for ten years, and have dipped my toe tentatively into the first few pages more than a few times.  But always I ended up putting it back, as it seemed there more important things to do, things of more value to read.

But at last in August of 2016, with The Election in full swing and fresh on the heels of Mermaids in Paradise by Kydia Millet, which while funny also has a distinct and very modern sort of "waiting for the end of the world" kind of vibe, I decided I needed to go into a world where there the stress of the modern day really isn't...well, it just wasn't.

So to the Pickwick Papers at last.  The premise, in a nut shell, is that the noble Pickwick, who seems to be a man of moderate wealth such that he really doesn't have to worry about money too much (though he does rather hate to part with a pound), has founded a club which encourages the exploration of one's own back yard.  So Pickwick, with his friends Winkle (the sportsman), Tupman (the romantic), and Snodgrass (the Poet), set off to explore the environs of southern England, eating and drinking copious amounts of alcohol and food along the way.

Hilarity ensues?

Yes, I'd say so, in the beginning of the book.  The ineptitude of these men in their opening adventures is a joyous sort of bumbling that only the English seem to be able to manage so well.  Tupman gets challeneged to a duel over mistaken identity, Winkle is horrible at all sports he applies his energies to, and Snodgross The Poet is always writing in a notebook but, oddly, none of his work seems to survive.  At all turns they are stymied by the conman Mr. Jingle, who seems a rather harmless villain in this day and age, a sort of Max Bialystock kind of guy who charms wealthy single women and then bolts town, creating scandal, which is settled for a fee (i.e. I will leave you guys alone if you give me Twenty Pounds).

Pickwick is joined by his faithful servant Sam, and Pickwick earns his undying loyalty, and there more adventures and some stories within a story and...

And then it all sort of falls apart for me.  The book coalesces around a loose plot and a few subplots, all of which involve marriage.  Pickwick is sued, unfairly, for falsely proposing marriage to his landlady (he did nothing of the sort) in bad faith, loses the case, and is sent to a debtors prison.  He manages to settle and then has to tie up the marriage of Winkle to a Arabella Allen, which is a fine match but has considerable resistance from numerous quarters that only Pickwick, with his noble bearing, can overcome.  Snodgrass and Tupman all but disappear for the final third of the book, we see them on the final pages where there is a nice sort of epilogue that traces the story of the various characters at least for the next few years.

I suppose one should forgive Dickens for any structural flaws.  It was written in pieces, in installments, and if some aspects of the book sort of die in place I suppose that is understandable.

But Dickens....Dickens is just very difficult for me to read, a torrent or words.  You would think Dickens would be right up my ally, being British and from the 19th century, a country and period of time I am fascinated with....but to read Dickens is to wade through a torrent of words that often don't signify.

So this book was very, very easy to put down.  I started in August, finished in November, but in between I read a number of books that I felt were more interesting.  I am happy that I had the perseverance to finish, but I am also glad to put it back on the shelf, likely to go to Goodwill, where perhaps it will enlighten a more joyous and patient soul.

I am Feelng....Kind of Impressed.

We may as well get used to it.

Hi America!

Or should I say....Heil Amerika?

I know, I know.  It's not fair to compare Hitler to Donald Trump.  I mean, for one, Hitler was a way better public speaker.  Mesmerizing, so I'm told.

Second, he was a much better painter.  One room? One afternoon?  Two coats?  Extraordinary!

I've had a couple days to accept the fact that Trump is President Elect.  The day after the election I was despondent.  When I think of all the issues I care about - climate change, a thoughtful foreign policy, honoring our international commitments, equality, common sense gun policy, plain and simple compassion -  Trump doesn't really fit my vision of what I want in a President.  When I think of the Trump we've gotten to know over the past 16 months - Trump the boor, Trump the ignorant, Trump the Twitter Troll - he doesn't fit my vision of what a President should be.  But apparently there are about 60 million people who beg to differ.

So here we are, two days later, and the US hasn't sunk into the sea (yet).  Much like Ron Burgundy felt when he realized that his dog Baxter had eaten a whole wheel of cheese, I find that I am not really mad; I'm actually kind of impressed.  

Come on People!

Look: Hillary Clinton had almost every newspaper backing her.  She had Obama, who is still pretty popular for a second term president, campaigning for her relentlessly, staking his legacy on her election.  She had Obama's eloquent wife Michelle stumping for her.  She had Bill stalking around the country, explaining away on the virtues of veganism, elder statesman extraordinaire.  She had the folksy Tim Kaine and his crazy as shit eyebrows.  She had Beyonce, Jay Z, Lebron James, and Katy Perry all in her corner.  KATY PERRY for Chrisssakes!  Katy.  Perry.

Who did Donald Trump have?  Just himself, his own self belief and over inflated ego.  And a bunch of angry, angry people, and a few people who wanted to make sure the Republicans put a stamp on the future of the Supreme Court.  Yeah, okay, he had John Voight.  I'll take Katy Perry any day.

But Trump won.  Despite all that, despite all the chips against him, despite the fact that he stood alone against the Machine, he won!  It's an incredible, stunning political feat.  A Dewey Defeats Truman of the Digital Age, as the New York Times put it.

And hey, you know, so far so good.  Trump is saying all the right things, trying to be a unifier not a divider, pointing upwards to a thousand points of light that are shining down on our city on a hill.  Rather amazing, considering that only a few short weeks ago we were all apparently in a living hell, running down the streets doing zig zags to avoid ISIS snipers and gang land cross fires while roving Government zombie death squads decided who lived and died at the behest of a corrupt political class that was hell bent on taking our guns away while Mexicans put their taco trucks on every corner and after a lunch of Tortillas and beans set out to take our jobs away, sell drugs to our kids, and rape our women.

Perhaps at last we see the fabled Trump Pivot after all this time?  Or maybe he was just saying those things to stoke up the base and get elected, power the end in itself, just as two faced as the stinking swamp of corruption he is intent on draining.  Or maybe this is just a part of pageantry of power, of the peaceful transition from one administration to the next, as the Democrats live up to their vows to hold that sacrosanct above all other things and Trump exudes the easy magnanimity of victory, saving his vitriol and sweeping agenda for another day.

We haven't sunk into the sea (yet).  But when I consider Trump getting his first classified intelligence briefings, how he's likely to pull us out of the Paris Climate agreements, and the people surrounding him, the Rudy Giulianies and the Newts who are likely to play key roles in the Trump administration, I feel my knees buckle a little bit.  And I haven't forgotten about the alt right.  It's amazing that on Inauguration Day our first African American President will pass off the baton to one of his most relentless attackers, who made a name for himself pandering to the conspiracy theorists about his origins and allegiances,  and who won the endorsement of the KKK.  Disavowed, of course, but still won.

Of course, we've all been promised that we will be winning so much now that we are going to be tired of winning.  Go to, Donald Trump. For the sake of our country I wish you the greatest success.  I for one am trying to keep an open mind and give you your hard won chance to lead our Nation.  But remember that in four years, if you're still up for it, We the People will get the chance to either re-elect you or send you packing.  You're going to have a little performance review, and at the end you may just get to hear those words you made immortal and probably slapped with a trademark:  You're Fired.

Good luck building that wall.  See you next election cycle.  

Clinton v. Trump III: Slugfest in Sin City

Well, here we are again.  Clinton, Trump, national stage.  Clinton needs to look Presidential.  Trump, on the other hand needs to:

Or maybe not.  He may want to keep it tamped down.  But we'll see.

Clinton going with the white pant suit.  I was thinking she might.

It feels like we are actually going to have a substantive debate here....which is incredible.  It feels....boring here, 12 minutes in.  Which is so strange.  I guess that means I am one of those horrible people who has come to conflate politics with entertainment.  Shame on me.

Guns.  Hillary and Trump support the 2nd amendment.  Trump will give us all a free gun if he gets elected, with a free cowboy hat.

Abortion.  Trump sort of tries to play the politician by not answering the question about overturning Roe v. Wade directly.  He gives all the ick of being against abortion without any of the faith - why does he actually believe what he believes here?  What is behind the ethics?  Or is he just saying stuff to get elected?  Clinton makes a very, very, thoughtful defense of Roe v. Wade.  I am amazed that we are still having this discussion, after so many, many years.

Immigration.  Trump says disaster for the first time (1).  He manages again, to blame Clinton and Obama for all America's ills.  Ah!  The wall!  We are going to build a wall, stop the drugs, get the hombres out.  Trump goes for the water as Clinton answers.  I wonder how well he has hydrated.  Clinton is painting a very, very, bleak picture of Trump's policy.  How hard it would be, how bad it would be.  It's like Nazi Germany man.  She's winning here, I think, on Trump's number one issue.  "He Choked" she says.  He is not a politician.  I am, the person with the ovaries.  Vote for me.  Trump:  NAFTA is a disaster (2).  Trump also has rolled out a new term -- "Big League".  What the heck is that.  Disaster two more times (4).  And if Obama has deported so many people, why should we vote for Trump?

Now Clinton gets hit up with the Wikileaks open boarders thing.  She schluffs it off as an energy thing, and has tried to pin it on the Russia, Trump connection.  I honestly don't care much about the Wikileaks stuff - Clinton is a politician, I'm not surprised at what she has said in these emails or what her people have done.  Heaven forbid that a politician should actually be a politician.  But it plays badly for her.  It will be interesting to see if Trump brings this up.

Putin:  Trump is sort of talking shit about Russia.  Russia has played a bad hand well - I would love to see Trump do any better.  Trump goes for the water again.  He really should have had more water last night. Clinton has not had any water that I can see.

Puppets, all.

Economics (jobs!  They took our jobs!):  While I support the left, mostly, in economic terms, to a point, I am not sure that the president really has much impact on jobs and the economy. I don't agree with the minimum wage being raised (I think the states should handle it), but I like everything else that Clinton says, I just don't know how she will actually do all of this stuff (free tuition??  Come on.).  But she gives a very detailed sort of policy plan.  Trump says her plan is a disaster (5).  Trump has gone back to getting money from the people we are defending...We are going to have free trade but somehow not going to have free trade because we can get great deals, because Trump is going to be a great wheeler and dealer.  I just hope he does better with our country than he did with those casinos.  Did I mention that NAFTA is a Disaster (6)?

Clinton leans back to her experience.  I gotta say - having been in government during the great recession actually makes me think that she has more credence here.   Macro economics is not the same as running a casino into the ground.

Trump:  If China and India are growing at 7%, and 8%, why can't we?  The ignorance of this man knows no bounds.  Wallace asked a very pointed question, and he has not answered it at all.  Trump does say that hey, he told the truth (once), and it was fact checked.  Good for you, Mr. Trump.  Clinton comes out against TPP....it will be interesting to see if she signs it into law when (yes, when) she is President.

Fitness for president.  And here we go with the sexual misconduct allegations.  If his loose grip on policy disqualifies him from being a president, then I think these allegations (which I believe) certainly do.  But he does pivot to the news that comes out today about paid agitators at Trump rallies.  I don't think that Clinton was actually behind them, but man, it sure is damning.  But Clinton can throw Trump's words about women back into his own face.  Even if the allegations are not true, his response towards them, his belittling of the women who made them, has really hurt him.  Clinton looks very good here.  Going high.  High high high.

Speaking of which, 2016 has made me a believer in legalizing marijuana.  Hopefully it will make us all chill out.  We'd probably be way better off for it.

The Foundation:  Hoof.  A cringeworthy moment for Clinton on her foundation.  She is dodging the question.  It is her Achilles heel, and this is the one place where Trump is actually winning, I would say.  It is a good foundation, I would say, but it certainly looks like a conflict of interest.  Oh, if it was anyone but Trump, Clinton would probably not win this election.  But now Trump is under attack for his own foundation, and the tax returns.  The mud is flying thick here.

The rigged election now....will Trump accept defeat?  Eh.....maybe not.  This election is never going to end.  Trump is talking about fucking voter fraud on a grand, grand, grand scale.  There is simply no evidence for that.  Clinton, I think, comes out very strongly against Trump.  She really dresses Trump down.  He looks like a chided 8 year old boy who has been caught stolen a stick of gum.  Fire from the lady.

Hoof.  Foreign hotspots now.  Mosul!  The fight has begun.  What happens the day after that?  A good question?  Hold it...that's a bad question.  If Mosul gets retaken there wouldn't necessarily be a vacuum.  The Kurds would probably hang on to it.  Clinton will not put us there again as an occupying force...which I think is a good answer.  It still allows us to put troops in to assist.  Smart. She goes on to give a good answer.

Trump now.  What will you do next after Mosul?  Will you put in troops.  Ugh.  He won't answer the question.  Not at all.  Hillary gave a great answer.  This is a losuy, stupid, rambling answer from Trump.  And now he is talking about how bad the offensive is.  The sneak attack again.  I think it is idiotic that Trump would invoke McArhtur and Patton.  Trump is not the equal of either of those men, particularly from a military standpoint.  If he was, then he should have joined the goddamned Army.

TRUUUMMMPPPP!  Why did you put your weapon together so quickly Trump?!

Because hey, you know, you told me to.  And I'm great.  I'm a great soldier.

Jesus H. Christ Trump!  If you were not such a goddamned waste of a enlisted soldier I would recommend you for OCS Trump!  You are going to be a General someday Trump!

I know.  I'm great.

Now, disassemble your weapon and continue!

Trump on Aleppo now.  He won't even let the moderator ask the question.  Trump:  Aleppo is a disaster (8). Trump is saying Assad is smart...which he is, but he is also ruthless.  But even I could argue that if he had won, fast and early, things may have been better, much as we don't like him.

Clinton on the no-fly zone:  I think we could get it to work through cooperation.  But she doesn't say that we will shoot down a Russian or Syrian jet.

I am interested to see if they will shake hands after this.  If I was Hillary Clinton, I would not.

Clinton did say "radicalization".  She's 33.33% there.  If she could just say "radical Islamic terrorism" ISIS would magically just *poof*.

I think that even Chris Wallace is getting tired of Trump.

The debt:  Trump says that, somehow, magically, we are going to get 4% growth or more and that will keep the debt down.  We are going to make an economic machine by stealing underpants and then turn a profit on that.  There is a middle part in there somewhere, but don't worry about that.  Clinton on the debt:  Eh, I will not talk about it, but use the opportunity to attack Trump and his beliefs on America.  Oh, wait, she tacks back to the debt, and says that all of her stuff is debt neutral.  Because she will tax the rich.  At least she is honest about that, eh everyone? 

Entitlements now.  We have not talked about that at all during this long, long campaign.  Neither person has a plan to really take care of this.  Save up, everyone.  Would Trump make the grand bargain?  No.  Because we are going to steal underpants and turn profits.  Obamacare is a disaster (9).  It's a tired attack line.  Would Clinton do the grand bargain?  I dunno, but Trump has called Clinton a "nasty woman".  Clinton will not cut benefits, which I think, sadly, is not realistic.  But no politician would say that.  Ever.  Save your money people.  You are going to need it.  I wish I had some more money to save.

I better start writing that great American novel.

One minute for a closing statement.

Clinton:  I am reaching out to everyone.  We need everyone.  We will be better together than we are apart.  She has not been caught flat footed here.  Could she have somehow known this question was coming?  We'll find out from Trump tomorrow.  But it is a good, strong, stock answer from a consummate politician.

Trump:  Attacks Clinton first.  Trump will make America great again.  Law and Order.  Justice.  Inner cities are a disaster (10).  You will be shot going to the store.  It's an angry answer from an idiot.  Don't go in for four more years of Obama.  That is what you will get.

But Chris Wallace ends on a high note.  It's up to you America.  Go vote.  I hope we put Trump to the metaphorical sword.

No handshake between the two contenders.  Good for you Clinton.  Trump does not deserve it.  Not at all.  Clinton comes out immediately and shakes the hand of Wallace.  Trump sort of scowls behind his lectern.

Clinton wins, I'd say.  She almost never faltered.  She was always thoughtful, very prepared.  She was powerful.  She ducked and dogded when she has to, and survived what could have been some tough questions.  Trump was...Trump.  At his grumpy frumpy Trumpiness.  If Trump did have some good moments, he did himself in with his refusal to accept a metaphorical defeat and literally insulting Clinton on the stage.  To all his supporters, who have legitimate and real grievances with the way that they have been treated over the past years, this is a disaster (11).

Good night everybody.



  

Two Poems

Here are a couple of my poems from the last open mike night.  I don't normally share these just anywhere - either because I think they are not good enough or I want to save them in the hopes that one day they might get published somewhere (I got two being published later this year in a regional journal....might get some sandwich money out that!).

These went over well but are very much in the moment, with a political reference in the one and a reference to Billy Collins and Sharon Olds who both have new (or at least newish) books out right now.  

So, preamble complete, the poems:

Summer 2016

All Summer I scurry from

One air conditioned way station 

To the next; from house to car

To store and back again.  

Across the sea, people risk their lives

In small, crowded boats

Under a hot Mediterranean sun,

Thousands of Mayflowers setting sail

For a better life.

All summer we talk of

Building a wall

To make us great again.

We better build it high enough

So we can't peer over the top

To see those people on the boats,

Yearning to be free,

Lest we look greatness in the eye

And feel ashamed.

A Toast to Some Old Poets

A toast to Sharon Olds,

Gifted with the brashness 

To write about anything,

And to Billy Collins, who has

The wisdom and grace 

To often write about nothing,

Reminding all middle class

White suburbanites that

As demographic drift

Signals only slow decline

Of old norms, dusty ideals;

As new artists challenge

Deep rooted prejudices

Of a society built in the quicksands

Of supremacy and inequality;

That there are still things 

To write about, be it the 

Well mapped contours of your own body

And the tired glory of human sexuality,

Or the thoughts that sift through 

Your mind while standing

In the kitchen on a fall morning,

Listening to the dog snoring,

Lost in his own happy dreams.

The very stuff of our lived experiences,

So accessible it seems you can just

Reach out and grab it, spin words into 

Gold on a blank page.

Ah, but you will never write it so well.

Clinton v. Trump II: This Time It's Personal

Ugh.  It's an ugly ol' debate this.  Merciless.  I think Trump is actually doing kind of well, better than he did in the first debate (a low bar, admitedly), aside from sort of walking around in the background like an ogre, shoulders slouched, arms unnaturally hanging at his side like a pair of salamis.  I also have a horrible feeling that I have read more, and thought more, about our wars in the middle east than Donald Trump has and about our history in general.  You never want to have the feeling that you know more about something than your president does, or that you read more books than your president does.  I don't know if it's true, maybe it's not, but his answer on Syria made me think of someone who has barely even thought about foreign policy at all.  His answer about propping up Assad is maybe not a bad one, if you believe in Realpolitik, but we could never support Assad with a clear conscious in our current day and age.  But all the other stuff that comes out of his mouth. A sneak attack, you say?  By the dark of the moon?  Zounds.

I'm also dismayed that there has been no questions all about Global Warming, as the water slowly starts to lap around my ankles.  Well, one, sort of, at the end, but framed in a way that supports energy companies.

Okay.  So here is my question:  we all talk about debate prep and how important it is.  But we don't know exactly how these things work.  I mean yes, the mock debates, the policy books, yeah yeah yeah.

But how do you hydrate for this?

It's a good question, I think.  If you don't hydrate enough, your mouth will be dry and you will pull a Rubio.  Hydrate too much and you may be asking for a potty break, which would be extremely unbecoming for a future commander in chief.  The extra water would perhaps make you sweat under the lights as well.

Trump and Clinton would handle it differently, of course.  I see Hillary sitting there the night before with a gallon jug of water, taking it seriously, as she does everything.  Two jugs of water, maybe, even.  And then she just kind of coasts on that by sipping water throughout the day, counting on the adrenaline of political combat to keep her bladder as tight as that ol' Scotsman Pennypincher McGee.

Trump...I think he is more of a coffee guy.  I don't know if he actually is, but he seems to have something of a Joe DiMaggio about him, who would drink coffee between innings (between innings!  With a cigarette!). And I apologize to DiMaggio's descendants, if maybe they take offense to that, but you know Trump's from New York, and DiMaggio played for the Yankees, you know, bada bing bada boom, eh? Anyways, fueled on coffee he drinks just enough water to kind of lubricate the vocal chords.  It is effective.  The coffee keeps you awake, and the water at the end would not be enough to induce an awkward moment. Of course that would mean that he is actually dehydrated, and that can really make you feel awful...no wonder he is so angry.

I am sure Trump would say "I am always very hydrated, I drink a lot of water, a lot of water, I am very, very, good at hydration.  Hillary Clinton has been a disaster at hydration.  She talks about taking in all the proper electrolytes, talks and talks, but she does nothing.  She's been a disaster as a Senator, when it comes to hydration.  When I am president, we will be the most hydrated nation in the entire world, I guarantee it.  She's a disaster."

Well....we'll see where all of this goes.  Can we move the vote up to tomorrow, so we can just get it over with?

Clinton v. Trump I: The Harangue at Hofstra.

Welcome to Hofstra University and the first of three debates between Democratic Presidential Nominee Hillary Clinton and Republican Presidential Nominee Donald Trump!  It's the first of three debates, and both contenders are looking to take the first game of the series.  First blood!

The stakes are....well, there will be a lot of people watching, that's for sure.  I know for me there is literally nothing that Trump can do that will make me vote for him, but if he can at least appear sane for 90 minutes, well, job done, I guess.  The stakes are higher for Clinton: she somehow has to convince people of her superiority to Trump without appearing superior.  Like, she has to put him to the sword, but she can't go all Hermione Granger on Trump's ass, because no one likes Hermione.  It's like asking Lionel Messi to score a hat trick, but not to do it too beautifully.  Three ugly goals.  It's a tough ask.

Tonight we will be scoring according to a secret set of criteria that I am not telling anyone about, lest I tip off my enemies.  Points will be posted to Ravenclaw House when Clinton scores; likewise when Trump scores points will go Gryffindor.

Gryffindor you say?  Yes! You might think he would go to Slytherin.  Yes, he could have been great at Slytherin....but he was so bold and so beautiful, so courageous, that he went to Gryffindor.  Yeah, admittedly, he's a Gryffindor gone to seed.  But he's still a Gryffindor.

So the rules are established, the stage is set, it's all to do for Clinton, and here we go....

8:30 seconds to go:  I've selected the You Tube feed from CNN, which I am not happy about.  I really think that CNN has made this election worse, with their panels and never ending discussion of this long, long election.  Maybe there is something better.

There we go.  Good old NBC.  Much less talk.  We seen to be in some sort of pre-game ceremony here.  I know many people around the country are pre-gaming as well.

My kindle has only 75% battery.  I hope that it makes it through the debate.  I have about 50% battery myself.

The families are being seated.  Here comes Lester Holt.  It's a full house here at Hofstra.  Last chance for the restrooms, last chance for a quick beer.  Lester Holt clears his throat.  The atmosphere is tense.  Very tense.  It seems as thought Lester Holt is taking a phone call, and the person on the other end is breaking up. Is it Trump calling to cancel?  Or is it his wife wishing him luck?

Somewhere in the distance, a dog barks....the candidates come out on to the stage and....

...And there was a long debate, and I wrote during it, stream of consciousness.  But I lost interest, and I thought that Donald Trump was an idiot.

It was not as interesting as we would have hoped - until the end, when it got quite raucous.  I thought Clinton put him to the sword. To the sword! I scored it like Ravenclaw - 9, Gryffindor - 2.  Trump seemed rather dickish, and immature, and non-presidential, and did not show one iota of the acumen necessary to be President.  Hillary did land a few low blows, perhaps went a few places that she should not have gone.  Trump elected to not really answer a number of questions, notably on the birther issue.  He may be a "great" businessman, but otherwise I don't think he has a clue.  I think he will find it very hard to govern if he wins. Clinton was cool, incredulous, and I think she just ran rough-shod over him, and she was organized.  Trump was all over the place, and got less orgnaized as he went on.  I think his plan to defeat ISIS somehow involves these guys below.

Yeah.  Those guys could do it.  I think that's probably what Trump's plan is, in a nutshell. One does not simply defeat ISIS.

And that's it for me, for this election.  For me it's over.  I don't want to hear another word, from Mr. Trump. I hope he loses big in November, because if he wins the presidency we will be in big, big trouble.  But even worse, I will have to listen to him talk for at least 4 years.  That seems to me a fate worse than....well, not death, but its still bad.  

This was a waste of life.  Next up:  the War in Washington.  But I wonder what else could possibly be said?


  

In which Nick reads "The First World War", by John Keegan, for the Second Time

As this year marks the 100th anniversary of the Somme and the Battle of Verdun, I figured the least I could do was read a book about World War I this summer.

So I selected John Keegan's summary history of the conflict, aptly titled "The First World War".  I had actually read it once before, about 11 years ago during my senior in college. I remember it being something of a slog, which was strange because other Keegan books I had read had been on point.

But the devil you know, right?  So rather than spend money on a different summary history I decided to spend money on a digital copy of a book that I had already read once before.  Funny old world, eh?

Maybe it is because I am more mature, but this time I found the book to be much more compelling.  Keegan does an able job of summarizing the start of the war and the opening battles.  I think something we often forget is that the first two months of the war were very fluid and dynamic, with some as room yet for heroism and initiative.

As things settle into stalemate and the fruitless trench warfare that most of us think of as we think of WWI, Keegan struggles to give the war some perspective, some meaning, though even he admits for a military historian charting the course of the war is very depressing indeed.

It actually makes the most sense if you look at it from the German perspective, which Keegan does well.  After the Schlieffen Plan fails (Keegan argues that even the architects of the plan knew it could never really work) the Germans basically realize that their best bet is to hold out on the Western Front and try to win against their weaker Russian enemies to the east.  If they can once again fight a one front war they might be able to amass enough men in the west to defeat a weakened France and a resolute Britain, before their country itself is exhausted.  With the exception of the aberration of Verdun, it is a plan the Germans stick to as the years go by, and it might have worked if...

You guessed it, those pesky Americans!  Over Thereeeeee....Over Thereeeee.....USA!  USA!  USA! USA!  Get me a Twinkie and buy me some steak, the Americans save those sorry French asses for the first time.  Sort of.

In 1918 the Germans have won the war in the east and are transferring men into the west for some massive offensives using new tactics (that presaged the Blitzkrieg of the second world war)...and they work to an extent.  But here they meet the Americans, an army of a million dough-boys who fight with an utter disregard for casualties because they have not spent years in the trenches watching their friends die in a landscape that resembles the inner circle of hell.  Most important they (and their British and French allies, who still fight tenaciously in defense) inflict casualties on the Germans that they simply cannot replace, particularly with regards to their non-commissioned officers, and as 1918 wears on their war effort simply implodes.  They simply cannot match the sudden influx of Americans.  It wasn't particularly their fighting skills (though Keegan gives props to the Marines at Belleau Wood), but more so the fact that they were there, and there were a lot of them, and there were more coming, and everybody knew this.

Keegan also does an excellent job of explaining why the war turned out the way it did, with neither side really able to make a breakthrough.  It seems that technology had advanced to the point where the battlefield was hopelessly lethal but had not advanced far enough to coordinate those different lethal technologies.

Look - today, if you come under fire, chances are you know where you are and you have communications back to someone who also knows where you are.  That person can dial in artillery and air strikes to obliterate thine enemy into tiny bits.  I'm sure it's not that simple, but you get the idea.  Communications are incredibly advanced, and allow for leadership (in theory) to coordinate efforts in the battle space and deliver lethality where it is needed most.

Not so in WWI.  You may be fighting with the most advanced weaponry yet devised, but you are relying on telephones for comms with wires that often don't survive the initial bombardments that open any battle of the war.  Now you are relying on runners, which chances are will not make it to their destination.  Your infantry are in some place far away where you cannot see them, they have advanced but are now under counterattack.  They have no comms and cannot call in pinpoint artillery to engage the enemy.  They are alone, and they are at a disadvantage as the enemy gathers for the counter strike.

This a You Tube video that I think shows the problem very well.  It's a little long, but I think it's worth it. Leave it to the British to make a World War I documentary somewhat cheeky and fun.  I guessed they earned that right, at least.

Along the same lines, Keegan also argues that the generals were not quite as heartless and clueless as we thought.  Some of them did learn and adapt, if not overcome.  New techniques were tried to break the deadlock, and as the wore won the British in particular found that it was possible, through careful planning and a combination of mines, bombardment, tanks, and infantry supporting each other in assault, to make an initial attack with relatively (relatively being the key word) minor casualties, all things considered.  But such gains could never be consolidated, as the German counter attack (which was their tactic of choice for much of the war) would inevitably stall any offensive.  It's not a universal truth, and the late example of the waste at Passchendale sort of suggests otherwise, but its still true that commanders on both sides were able to make small improvements that did show some promise.  But the communication breakthrough that was really needed was never realized.

So - if you were wanting to come to grips with the conflict, I can think of no better way.  On the first reading, a decent book.  On the second reading, an excellent one.  Do yourself a favor and get a good book for maps or find some online...the military historian's penchant for Corps designations is alive and well.

  

The Relevance of Poetry

If you want to gain a little perspective, then I'd highly recommend you find a local open mike poetry night.

The group I am a part of (more or less) had it's 8th anniversary open mike a week and a half ago, and it was....pretty incredible.  So many different voices: perspectives from blacks, whites, latinos, believers, non-believers, liberals, conservatives. There is nothing really quite like it, where you have people who are so willing to share their experience so openly, and you have people who more importantly are willing to quietly, respectfully listen.

Listening breeds understanding, understanding empathy, and empathy?  Peace.  Nothing could be more relevant today.

Here are a couple of excellent poets that were good enough to share with the group.  First is Dayana Lee,  the current young poet Laureate of Hampton Roads, an award winning international poet.  The other is her mentor and coach, Nathan Richardson.  Check it out, support your local poets, and gain a different perspective.  I don't think you will be sorry. 

In Muted Praise of Kaepernick, and Thoughts on the Anthem as a National Symbol

The fracas over the National Anthem continues to grow as more NFL players, some whole NFL teams, and even Megan Rapinoe all participate or contemplate participating in Colin Kaepernick's "I ain't standing up during the National Anthem" protest.

There is, naturally, a pretty wicked backlash on social media.  We apparently were all willing to accept the idea that maybe one guy, this Colin Kaepernick, would not stand up provided he showed reverence to the armed forces by taking a knee.  But now that more than one person wishes to exercise their right to free speech?  Clearly that is a little too much for the Constitution and our Country to bear.

Watching all of this transpire, there is something that bothers me.  How is it that all of our national symbols have become synonymous with respect for the military?  It's as if there is nothing else our nation stands for.

It's a free country of course.  If you want to make the anthem a symbol of the sacrifice given by so many soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines then I suppose you can go right ahead.  Veterans and those presently serving exemplify some of the best impulses of our culture, and if you choose to venerate them by placing your hand over your heart and facing the flag as the anthem is played or sung, it's your right to do so.

That....is a pretty big flag.

But we never collectively decided that this is the case, that that is what our National Anthem is supposed to mean for everyone.  I don't remember having a national convention in which we decided that "heretofore from this date the National Anthem shall be an icon through which we remember the sacrifice of our nation's armed forces".  No one gets to say definitively what a piece of our culture represents.  So you can't expect everyone to view the national anthem in the same way.

I don't see it that way.  I'm not sure how I see it, honestly.  Sometimes, sure, I think of the troops.  Sometimes I think of all the blessings that I have as an American, and how lucky I am to be one.  Sometimes I think of the promise of our nation and the fact that our anthem (the verse we sing, at least) ends intriguingly in a question, as if asking us if we have done all we can to live up to the promise of our nation.  But there are other times I think of how the tune is a British drinking song, and how hard it is to sing as a result, and how not good the person singing it is at singing it, and whether that person is lip synching or not.  Then there are other times where I think how interesting it is that our anthem (the verse we sing, at least) ends intriguingly in a question, as if suggesting that we have not gone far enough, as if to suggest that we are a long way from living up to the promise of our nation, a truth held self evident that All Men are Created Equal.

So I can never quite bring myself to place my hand over my heart while it is sung.   We've done some amazing, wonderful things as a nation.  But like so many others, we have also done some horrible things, sometimes perhaps by not doing enough.  We have much to answer for.  America is my home, and I love it so, and yet....

...Reflexive patriotism bothers me, a bit.  It's almost like going to Church and getting your sins forgiven, accepting the grace without reckoning with how in fact you have erred, and what you might learn from it.

 We, as a nation, owe an incredible debt, an almost unpayable debt, to those who have served our country.

But I wonder if going through these rituals of national respect satisfies the collective guilt that some of us must feel about sending other people to die and kill for us.  Anthem sung and penance paid, we go on with our merry lives until the next football game, using our symbols to build a wall of separation between our normal lives and the wars we fight.

You might say it's the least we can do to show respect for our military, to stand and place our hands over our hearts while the anthem is played.  I would argue that we owe much more than that.  We have to take it upon ourselves to ensure that "from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion - that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain - that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom - and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth."

Sometimes that means taking a stand, in which ever way you can, to show how far away we are from realizing our best aspirations, that we still need to strive boldy towards a better future together, rather than rely on a few brave souls to do it for us. We all have a stake and a responsibility to make our country live up to its promise.

Colin Kaepernick and his band of renown are doing their best to make the most powerful statement they can with that end in mind.

And for that, I have to applaud them.    

Whyfore Gary Johnson?

A number of my friends are supporting Gary Johnson, former governor of New Mexico and libertarian wunderkind, for President.  Some of them are supporting him, I think, simply because Trump seems to be an unstable bigot while Hillary Clinton seems to be a cold, calculating, dishonest bitch.

But others are supporting him because, I think, they are actual libertarians.

I've always found it interesting that Adolf Hitler and Churchill were both painters.  Hitler in his life before the cataclysm of World War I and II, Churchill as best as I can tell for much of his life as a hobby.

I've also found it interesting that many engineers are libertarians.

It makes sense though.  Engineers are sensible people, who go to school for years and learn incredible amounts of math but then go into the work force and search for the cheapest, easiest, quickest solution that involves the least amount of paperwork and hassle.

A libertarian point of view seems to fit that pretty well.  It's pretty simple after all;  the government is going to be as small as it can be and leave you alone as much as possible.  Solutions to the nation's pressing problems will be left to the free-market and the people will vote with their dollars.  The government will defend the country but not get over involved in foreign entanglements.  And yes, the government doesn't particularly care if you toke up with some buds after binging all week long on pornography and pumpkin sex orgies because....that's your concern.  The Government doesn't care who or what you bring into your bed and, to a certain extent, what you put into your body.  Heroin, probably, is still kind of bad; but instead of tossing you into jail we are probably going to get you into some kind of treatment program.  Good luck paying for it on your own, because taxes have been cut so much there is no government program.

Have you considered the erotic possibilities of yams, but were to afraid of being stigmatized to tell anyone?  Then vote for Mr. Johnson in November.  I say "In November" because I don't know what day Election Day actually is.

Low taxes, separation of Church and State, abortions for everyone, a powerful military that watches those pesky Canadians.  All of the fiscal responsibility of the Republican Party without all their silly moralizing.

And I have to admit...It's kind of attractive.  It's the closest kind of government to what I think the Founders (with a capital F, no less) would have wanted.

But there is that vexing problem of equality.  What do we do with all the people who lose in a free market system?  Do we just let them get by as best as they will?  Do we hope that people are compassionate enough to donate to food banks and soup kitchens and other charities?  Or does the government have some responsibility to provide some base level for those left by the wayside?  A libertarian might say that these are questions all best answered by local governments and state legislatures, and maybe so; but what about something like education?  What if the people of Virginia would rather not fund public schools because they think it's not particularly important, but then the people of Ohio say "you know what, we are going to have some fantastic schools"?  Doesn't that put the kids in Virginia at a disadvantage simply because they live in a state - oh, no, sorry, a commonwealth -  whose people (perhaps the by most narrow of margins) do not want to adequately support public education?

Once you start to grapple with those kind of questions, you find that libertarian thought always needs some modulation and some nuance.  Some might just kind of shrug their shoulders and argue that inequality is not their problem and that people need to take responsibility for themselves.  True to a degree, perhaps, but I find that that sort of thinking lacks compassion.  And a politics without compassion is due to fail (just read your old, battered copy of Antigone- oh wait, you don't have one due to cuts to the public educational system.  Schade.  Do you know what that means?  Probably not, due to cuts to the public educational system).  

So I have questions for Johnson.  I want to see if maybe he can be nuanced enough to get me to buy in.  I'm not sure based on what I know about him and his thoughts that he can.  But I'd be willing to listen if he is given the chance to debate on the stage.  I think he has every right to do so, and I hope that whoever makes the decision on him being in or out will let him participate.  If the GOP and the DEMs really think they are the shit, and that a life of low taxes and unmitigated pumpkin sex is not better than what they have to offer, then they should not be afraid to prove it.    

And maybe, just maybe, if he shows up at the 36th gate with a couple dozen hot Kripsy Kreme donuts (all for me, I ain't sharing them), I will vote for him on Election day.


 

Some Books Read

Usually I start the year with some pretty lofty reading goals, but there is always a point in the summer where I just start reading whatever the heck I want to.

Ladies and Gentlemen, say hello to Nick Marickovich's summer reading season.  

It usually lasts from early June till late August, about the time where one starts to long for the fall and all things pumpkin and collectively we as a nation start to think of college football, which makes me think of college, which makes me think of the joy of learning new things or reading something very deep.  So I pick up a tome and, with the first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season by my side, dig right in.  

FYI:  The first Pumpkin Spice Latte of the season is also last.  While the PSL is bright on the pallet to begin with, with notes of nutmeg and -- you guessed it -- pumpkin, it has a finish that is reminiscent of an off brand caustic floor cleaner.  I always seem to forget how much I actually hate the Pumpkin Spice Latte, until it's too late.

Anyways, I digress.  Here are some brief takes on some of the books I have read this summer

A Passage to India, EM Forster

I suddenly find myself rather intrigued by India and the history of the British in India.  I don't really know why...perhaps I am slowly getting ready to explore a little Eastern spirituality, as the Western brand doesn't seem to be doing it for me.  In any case, this is supposed to be the book about the British in India, an anti-imperialist broadside by the great EM Forster.  

I read it at the beginning of June and I don't remember it all that well - I do remember being vaguely disappointed with it, though it had it's moments.  It's not easy to say you didn't enjoy what is supposed to be a classic work by a great novelist (I've read A Room With a View several years ago, and I enjoyed it), but it just kind of lagged and....meh.  I was glad to get to the last page.  It was nice to know that not all British people were imperialist pricks.  

Sidney Chambers and the Problem of Evil, James Runcie

So this is the third book in the Grantchester Mystery series.  The series features Sidney Chambers, the rector of Grantchester, near Cambridge, a priest who has a knack for solving crimes.  Everybody needs a good mystery series, and this one is mine.  I find I enjoy the characters and the time and place (1950's - 1960's England) more than the actual "who dunnit's"; but I would imagine that is the draw of any good set of mysteries.

I found that I enjoyed this book a little less than it's predecessors.  I think it is because in this book Sidney Chambers has finally married the German widow Hildegard (whom we met in the first book, in Sidney's very first case), and I think Runice doesn't really integrate her into Chamber's life with ease.  There is something clunky about their relationship;  it might be because Sidney is English and, as we all know, Great English Lovers is one of the world's shortest books.  I rather miss the dashing Amanda Kendall, who is Sidney's friend and prospective mate in books one and two and who reminds me of Lady Mary Crawley.  She is still around in these books as a friend but the friendship is made awkward by Sidney's marriage.  The author may be intending that to exploit it later (don't tell me!), and so it doesn't necessarily detract from the craftsmanship shown in these books even if it does lessen the enjoyment.

Sharpe's Tiger and Sharpe's Triumph, Bernard Cornwall

The first two books of the Sharpe series, where we find Private and then Sergeant Sharpe with Wellington's troops in India (again, with the whole British in India thing).  These books were very quick reads and absolutely gripping, an unflinching look at life in the British Army ca. 1800.  It wasn't much fun, really. Cornwall's depiction of the Battle of Assaye is absolutely incredible.

Are these the heir to O'Brien's Aubrey-Maturin series?  I don't know if I would say that.  They are certainly cousins, but O'Brien's books offer more of an immersion experience into another place and time, even down to the language and the style in which the books are written.  It is also less about war itself then the friendship between Captain Aubrey and the surgeon Stephen Maturin.  Cornwall's books are written in contemporary style and...it's too early really to tell what the books are about.  Cornwall does share with O'Brien, obviously, exhaustive research and a willingness to only bend the truth slightly to suit his needs.  Very fine.

   

Hillary! Hillary!....Hillary?

Fairness would dictate that I would sit here tonight and watch Hillary Clinton speak as she accepts the Democratic nomination for president.  History demands it too.  Where were you when the first woman officially accepted her nomination to be President of the United States?

The way things are going right now, I will either be asleep or I will be watching old episodes of Seinfeld on hulu, drinking hot cocoa laced with Bailey's.  It may be 90 degrees right now at 9:57 pm with 80% humidity, but its still good.  

Look folks:  I'm tired.  And it's not my job to watch these speeches and comment on them.  Lots of people are doing that, they have lots of great things to say.  Go and read their blogs.

But, since I guess I have to say something on this historic night, I offer this:

I read Obama's speech from last night, and it was awesome.  Awesome.  Frank Bruni of the New York Times called him an American Poet, and I think that's true.  I don't know if we all agree on his vision of America, but he sure does sell it well.  My God does he sell it well.  I for one will be in line to buy his Presidential Memoirs whenever they come out; I am sure they will be a joy.

So, about Hillary Clinton.

Look, I'm going to vote for her.  I think that's a foregone conclusion.  Nothing Donald Trump could say or do is going to make me vote for him.  He could get Katy Perry to meet me at the 36th street gate with 12 dozen fresh Krispy Kreme donuts and I still wouldn't vote for him.  Even if he offered me a princely sum I wouldn't do it.  I couldn't live with myself.

But Hillary Clinton -- I dunno man.  She doesn't seem real to me.

I know I have said many times that the desire to have someone in office just like us common folk is sort of dumb.  That was the supposed draw of Sarah Palin.  "She's just like me!"  I know I don't want someone just like me to be the leader of the free world.  I am not up for it.  My mother might think I would do a fine job, because that is what mother's do.  But in my heart of hearts I just know that it would simply be to much for me.

What do we do about ISIS?  I don't know.
.
How can we stimulate the economy?  Beats me.

Sir, well, what about the Bushmen?  What about them?  Look, it's 10:13 PM, I'm really tired, I just want to belt back a few bourbons and watch reruns of Seinfeld on Hulu.  Can we talk about this tomorrow?  

But Hillary Clinton now.  She has not driven her own car, probably, since 1992.  That gives me pause.  She also lied about her emails.  That gives me longer pause.  I was willing to forgive her for setting up her own server -- though why I was so willing to do that I am not sure.  But the explanation she gave to us, had given us for months, turned out to be not quite the truth. That bothered me greatly.  And now all these revelations about the DNC, backing Clinton over Sanders and trying to push him out of the race...The Clinton's are powerful.  The most powerful people on this earth.  They live in a different world, where maybe they just kind of do whatever they want.  Thankfully they seem to do this mostly for good, but also I think for their own self-aggrandizement.

It's only a pause though.  Oh Republicans.  If you had managed to nominate a moderate this year, you might have had me.  But now you guys are veering hard to starboard and you have nominated a demagouge for president.  You could have had me, sans Krispy Kreme donuts.

But now? If you want my vote?  It's going to cost you.

Trump! Trump! Trump!

So tonight, with no cable and with CNN GO offering only 9:00 of free coverage, I am going to be listening to Trump's speech tonight and doing a sort of stream of conciousness minute by minute thing that maybe you can read later if you are so inclined.

So its 8:39 PM Eastern Time.  The Governor of Oklahoma is talking about how she is awesome, thanks to optimism, determination, beef, and good old fashioned values.  God.  Applause it tepid.  It's not a great speech.  I'm kind of wondering how many people are actually listening.  She says that Trump will speak "Truth to Power".  Which I think is Nietzsche, yeah?  

Well....I am going to do some dishes.  I'll be back.  Incidentally, I thought that Cruz did a very brave thing by not endorsing Trump yesterday.  I'm sure he decided he has more to gain by doing so, but still.  It was funny to see that Trump actually glared at him from the back of the hall.  It was like WWE...I'm just waiting for someone to grab a chair and bonk someone over the head.  

8:48.  Still no Trump.  

9:00.  Okay, so apparently we are still a whole hour away from Trump speaking.  Do these people know how tired how I am?  I don't think I can make that.  I am seriously considering whether this is worth it or not.  Everybody in the crowd sounds tired too.  They all, I think, want to go home.

9:20.  In the course of doing more dishes, and getting kids water, and schlepping things up and down the stairs, etc. etc., I break a Pyrex measuring glass in the kitchen.  Bollocks.  

9:36  The Guardian reports that Trump will speak around 10:15.  Man.  It just keeps going on and on and on.  Whoever is speaking now is bashing the Iran deal, which I thought was...good?  Hard to say.  So far so good, I'd say.  But we'll see.  

9:45 - Seriously reassessing my priorities in life.   I hear a heck of a lot of crazy saxophone music down there.  Someone is really laying down some Truth!  I imagine there are lot of people dancing very badly right now.  I wonder what kind of music Donald Trump actually likes?  He's never really talked much about it - which is strange because he kind of talks about everything.  Clearly he thinks the saxophone is one hell of an instrument.  Really, who is this band?  They are cheezy, and yet they are very solid.

9:54 - Drum solo.  Break it down!  

10:00 Allright, now were talking.  There is a video on Donald's Trump career being shown, including that time he "wrote" the Art of The Deal.  Its coming!  Soon, soon, soon.....

10:04 -  Here is Ivanka Trump.  Now I am actually watching the RNC live feed on You Tube.  I wonder how it is that there seems to be a bit of wind blowing through Ivanka's hair.

10:07 - Since when did Trump work for the world around us?  He's some kind of batman now?  Though it is very hard to criticize a woman talking about her father.  Very hard.  Hold your fire everyone!  Hollllllllllllld.....

10:09 HA!  Colorblind and gender neutral.  Platitudes my lady.  Platitudes.  She does look awkward up there.  Assured, but awkward.  Smiling for applause lines.

10:11 Some very forceful language about how Trump treats women at his company.  I wonder how Trump is actually going to make child care accessible to all?  Perhaps he will elaborate later.  Ivanka promises Equal pay for Equal work on behalf of her father.  Which would be good. I mean, how can you disagree with that?

10:14 - Donald Trump is inacapable of thinking small --- because he is incapable of thinking!  Ha.  You set your self up for that one.  

10:15 - Where is the Trump?  The Donald?  The man?  Do I really think he cries everytime he sees a boarded up Main Street?  THAT I would like to see.  Listening to Ivanka is like when you go to someone's wedding and you hear the best man give a speech about how awesome the groom is, and you are like "I know the groom....and that doesn't sound like the groom."  It's like she is talking about a totally different person then the one we have been acquainted with over the past....gosh, has it been a year?  Yeah.  It's been a year.

10:17 - Donald Trump will speak to every person of every background?  So when is he going to stop by my door.

10:18:  And there he is!  HA HA HA!  TRUMP in huge gold letters, with the drums and the dramatic music like he is going to be getting onto Apollo 13, and....wow there are more flags on stage then there are people in the audience.

10:19  Okay.  Here we go.  Little smile on the face.  Starts of humbly with some thank you's.  A weak chant from the crowd, you can barely hear them.

10:20 And he humbly accepts the nomination.  Surprise surprise.  Good start though.  He should quit while he is ahead.  Chants of USA from the crowd.  Oh, and now Trump tries to fire up the crowd.  He is clearly enjoying this.  He goes into a description of how many votes he has, and he has more votes than the democrats, so I guess he is the shit then.  He is a winner, and so he will be a great leader.

10:22 Law and Order.  He is Batman.  Really.  Donald J Trump......is Batman.

10:23 Mentions radical terrorism and threats to police....And Trump is going to end all the violence.  Let's hear how?

10:24  His speaking style reminds me just a little of Bill Cosby in full Jello Pudding Pop mode.  Probably not someone you really want to be compared to.

10:25.  I see.  If we stop being politically correct the violence will stop.  So let's here some Truth Donald Trump . Lay it on me!  Let's go.  I'm ready....

10:26  He seems now to be running for the mayor of a major city, talking about crime and shooting and violence.  With guns.  But he blames it all on Obama, as if he is the cause for the whole thing, which is an incredible claim to make.  Just incredible.  What power, really, does the President have over local law and order?  Ah....the Mexicans, the illegals, the muslims.  Jesus Christ this man is loathsome.  Chants of "Build the Wall! Build the Wall!  Build the Wall!".  All Trump is peddling is fear and sadness.

10:29  He paints a pretty bleak economic picture.  That is probably the most truthful thing he has said.  We, he says, will fix it.  But I'll tell ya, he's just got a pocket full of magic beans.

10:32  Shhhh.  I'm listening.  Now to our many humiliations.  Syria now.  I would like to know what Trump would propose we do about that one.

10:34  Hillary Clinton now, and her bad record on foreign policy (apparently).  Wow.  He basically blamed the whole ails of the middle east on Hillary Clinton alone, from Egypt to Libya to Syria to Iran even to Iraq.  Though he does make an important point -- after 15 years of wars in the middle east we have little to show.  Wars that Bush, a REPUBLICAN PRESIDENT, started.  Hell, Bush was in power 15 years ago.

10:36  Okay now Trump.  What do you got?  We are in the shit.  How do you get us out?  

10:37.  Americanism, not Globalism.  Respect is earned, not deserved.  Have we earned it?

10:39.  Law and Order again.  KUNG CHUNG!  Batman.

10:39  There are about 217,000 people watching on the You Tube feed right now.  Pretty good pull, I guess.

Trump: ‘We are going to fix the system so it works for all Americans ’ Photograph: John Moore/Getty Images

10:40.  Trump is practically screaming into the mike.  And yet here we are 20 minutes into the speech, and there has not been one piece of policy, not one single idea.  Not a one.  It isn't there.  Just big "isms".  Populism.  American Exceptionalism.  Trump, Billionare, takes on the voice of the poor and disenfranchised...and maybe there is something to there to the very compassionate person Ivanka was talking about.

10:43  The crowd is trying to get a full head of steam up here.  They can't seem do it.  Like an old man on his anniversary who is waiting for the viagra to kick in, and it just.....it just isn't happening.

10:44  Hello Cleveland!  You rock!  I think that was just something to get a cheer out of the crowd.  This is something else man.  Something else.

10:44.  Ah yes.  The emails.  I sympathise with him there, actually.  It really makes me pause when I consider a vote for Hillary Clinton.  She lied about the system she had, and I think she was just dumb to have her own email.  Another example of the Clinton's living in their own world.  Though Trump has layered on much more than just that, he sounds like a conspiracy theorist.

10:47 Literally, at this point, I say "Goddamn, what a fucking son of a bitch".  Only he can fix our ills?  He is like Batman and Jesus, all rolled into one.  He makes an appeal for Bernie Sanders supporters.  I'll tell you what....this democrat never will.  He is getting very little applause here.  Very little.

10:49  Mike Pence now.

10:50 Hillary Clinton is probably watching and saying "Oh, these rustics are so inept.  It nearly takes the honor out of victory.....nearly."

10:51.  Don't compare Trump to Hitler.  Hitler was a way better public speaker.  Way better.

10:51  Now we are back to law and order again.  This is very disogranzied.  I wonder if he is just shooting from the cuff at this point.

10:51  For the thrid time he says we are going to bring law and order back to the streets.  I think this is a bomb man.  He's dying out there.  Dying.  Batman is dying.

10:53  He will protect the children, and make sure they are all equal.  All treated equally.  BUT HOW IS HE GOING TO DO IT!  THIS IS MADDENING!  Most people have a plan.  It may be a shitty plan, and it might not work, but its still a plan.  I don't think he has any plan.  None.  I am

10:54  He is almost on a loop here.  We are going to defeat ISIS now.  Fast.  Good fucking luck.  HOW WILL YOU DO IT!???  HOW???

10:55 I am literally just getting angrier and angrier watching this.  Believe me.  Believe me.  It's total shit.  Am I just dreaming?  Am I taking crazy pills?  Does anyone else see what I am seeing????  This man has not a clue.  Not a clue.    He has not said one constructive thing in like 36 minutes.  It is nice, though, this convention to see a rift finally developing in the party over human sexuality.

10:56  "God.  Stupid fucking idiot".  That is what I said when he decides to blame Hillary Clinton for the problems in the Middle Easter.  There was this man, called George W. Bush.  He invaded Iraq.  It was stupid.  Trump only says we are going to win, and we are going win fast?  HOW!!!???

10:59.  I'll bet Israel is quaking in their boots right now.

11:00 Trump is now taking credit for NATOs resent call to set up a task force to fight Terrorism.  Nicely done.

11:00  Oh boy.  We are going to suspend imigration from the middle east.  We don't want them in our country, he says.

11:01  Well the screening thing is a lie.  It is very, very hard to get into the US if you are a refugee, at least that is my understanding.  Maybe someone is lying to me, but I think it's probably the man with the funny hair on my computer.

11:03  And now we bob back over the immigration again.  We're back on the illegal immigration thing again.  This is a really horrible speech.  Really horrible.  In structure, in words, in delivery.  It is just very, very bad.  I don't really care what your political persuasion is.  This is a horrible speech.  I am not sure how many times I can type that.  I am sort of curious to see how long he decides he is going to go on for.  

11:05.  You know?  I think Donald Trump needs to read a few more books.

11:08  Based on the Guardians feed most of this speech is not ad-libbed but actually written.  Which is incredible.  It is incredible that someone can write something so insipid, and horrible, and disorganized, and incoherent.  And so long.  This has to end.

11:09  More USA Chants again.  Weak.  Very weak.  I don't think that people in the crowd can really believe what they are seeing.  They all kind of looked shell shocked.  I know I am.  My mind is definetly starting to wander.  He is coming up on an hour.  And its been a desultory hour spent in an act of politcal masturbation.  But that would actually probably be more fun.

11:15  I do notice now that only 201,711 people are watching.  Some of us have decided to ditch.

11:17  Now he is finally getting into his plans.  Tax cuts.  Fewer government restrictions.  More energy.  More mining.  More steel working.  His notice of tax cuts gets very light applause where normally that is a huge applause line.

11:19  I don't think his economics make sense.  I am not sure.  It just sounds like a bunch of magic unicorn farts.  Ah....there is an endorsement for school choice.  Here we are at an hour mark.  Repeal and Replace Obamacare.  This is all stuff he could have said ages ago.  I can choose my own doctor now....

11:20  TSA a disaster.  THAT we can agree on.  Only 197,197 watching now.  And falling.

11:21.  So I guess if you are having problems with students loans, you can go and join the military.  It looks like we are going to talk again about foreign policy.  We will ask countries to pay for our protection.  That is exactly, exactly what the British asked us to do back when were merely a colony.  And we said "Fuck you Britain, and fuck your fucking tea!"  And America was born.  A little different, I suppose, in that that was a colony and NATO is not really like that.

11:23  Ooooh!  A 100 day pledge.  But I am not sure what is talking about now.  Only 194,973 watching now.  And falling.

11:24.  The judge issue.  THAT is an issue I think a lot of Republicans can get behind.  It shows in their applause.  Uhoh...we have buffering problems now.  But we are back.  Not quite as clear.  But yeah, the courts are a huge issue.  If Republicans are left voting for anything, its this.

11:25.  Ahhh that is Bollocks. Clinton does not want to take your guns.  I don't want to take your guns.  Obama doesn't want to take your guns.  We can't!  It's in the constitution.

11:26.  Now we are on to faith.  There is a little bit of humility from the man, which is nice to see at this late, late, late hour.

11:27.  I have Internet problems now.  Now I am watching it on my phone.  This is the third way that I have tried to watch this thing.  I still can't believe he is talking.  You have only 192,254 people watching right now, and I am inexplicably one of them.  It's like when my family rented The Holiday and my Dad was the only one who stuck with it on principle.  He has some very warm things to say about his family.  And I think we are finally wrapping things up here.....

11:29  Big Applause.  That should really be the end.  We are going to start winning again.

11:30.  Nope.  I slap myself in the face.  What a horrible idea this was.  He is finally reaching for a little bit or oratory here.  The last two minutes have been his strongest.

11:32.  Oh ho.  That was nice.  "I'm with you, the American People".  Turning the whole "I'm with her" thing that Hillary has on its head.  It hasn't saved the speech, but that was good.  Wrap it up man.  You are ahead for once.  Quit.  Stop.  Stop.  Stop talking.

11:34  And that's it!  He's done!  The crowd sounds like a small crowd at a concert.  Weak spotlights swirl around the crowd.  Balloons?  I don't see any Balloons.  Here are the families.  Applause has died down.  People are tired.  And so am I.  It's time to go home.

Some reaction from the peoples though first.  I haven't come this far not to hear what other people think.  NPR did not think it was too compelling, did not hurt but it did not help.  It certainly did not change my mind.  Oh, there are the Balloons.  There have to be balloons, and there are real fireworks too.  At least in that I am not disappointed.

The fact checkers I think are going to rip this one apart.    




  

  

Pop Culture Round-up! The Great Kanye West / Taylor Swift Feud.

These are tough times, polarizing times. I keep forgetting its not a good idea to get on Facebook shortly after I get up -- negative waves, man.  Negative waves.

So it was an odd kind of relief when on Monday morning I opened the Guardian and CNN.com and saw that the thing that most people wanted to read and talk about was the so called "Downfall" of Taylor Swift at the hands of Kim Kardashian, lusciously endowed warrior princess.  It's almost as if before the political conventions really started we all came up for air and took a deep breath, reveling in the triviality of it all, before turning once again to ugly, serious matters.  

As best as I can figure it goes something like this:  Kanye West has a lyric in a song where he says something like "Taylor and I, well, we might-a' still make-a the sexy time.  Maybe.  We shall see, yes?  Why do you ask that this might be the case?  Ah!  Well, I made that bitch famous.  So. She owes me."  Swift was offended, Kanye protested that she and Taylor talked about and it she was cool with it, and Taylor was like "uh, no?" and stuff.  But the other day Kim Kardashian posted a video of Kanye and Taylor discussing the lyric (at least the sex part) and Taylor saying she was okay with it.  

So Taylor has been found to be a liar, though in this political season that is not in itself remarkable.  She recovered enough to defend herself, saying that it was the "bitch" part of the lyric that was never discussed and that she never agreed to.  

Still, the Internet cackles with glee.  Another star has been brought back to earth, and now perhaps we shall drag her through the mud.  

And I am not sure where I fall in all of this.

I gather there are some legitimate criticisms of Ms. Swift - she seems a bit too contrived.  Never a hair out of place.  Carefully choreographed outings with a "string" of boyfriends.  Always seemingly so surprised when she wins major awards (and she has won many) even though she really probably expected to win, all while sort of breathing a sort of happy optimistic kind of feminism that doesn't really seem to fit the bill in a world where so many women, even famous women, still find that they struggle to be truly heard.  

I am not sure about the last point - I think I "borrowed" it from someone, as Melania Trump's speechwriters might say.  Still, it seems we can't stand to see a woman succeed and heavens knows she shouldn't actually enjoy her success (this is straight from The Guardian, by the way).  But I also think part of it may be that in America we value authenticity above all things, and when someone is thought to be something of a fake we love it when they fall.  Swift is, perhaps, not really seen as an authentic person, borne out by the fact that she seems to drift stylistically towards whatever kind of music will make her the most money.  She has not remained true to herself.  She plays it safe.  She doesn't really have much to say. She is not really much of an artist.  

But she does play a catchy tune.    

On the flip side of all of this is Mr. West -- not Adam West (which would be awesome) but Kanye West. He styles himself the artist in all this, willing to say what we are all thinking, giving expression to the silent pulls within all of us; it would seem that all those silent little tugs on our soul are telling us that Kanye West is fucking awesome, and we all love him.  But he's an artist yeah?  I mean he grabs for big things, his album The Life of Pablo has been revised a billion times as an artist might (though many artists would rather not revise and just leave the work to express a particular given moment), he had that huge launch party that was an utter disorganized flop, he's got the clothing line and such and so on and so on.  And the music crackles with creativity, he's doing some interesting things here and there.  

But I actually don't like his music much at all.

I know it's good, and I can appreciate that.  But for me it's like watching the Godfather.  I know that it is a good movie, I can see why it is a good movie and that it is an excellent piece of work.  But I don't actually get much out of watching it.  

But at least the Godfather says something about something.  Most of what I have heard from Kanye West seems to be about how awesome he is.  Truth perhaps, he seems like a pretty awesome guy -- but artistically I am not sure he has much to say.  If there is anything, it isn't on the surface, you got to dig to find it.  But for me Kanye's music doesn't really invite much digging into, though it is admittedly finely textured and very rich.  Yet I wonder: what are we going to find in there?  Are we going to find some kernel of real experience?  Or we just going to get a more multi-faceted view into how great Kanye West is?  Yes, if you dive deep into Taylor Swift you'll bang your head on the shallow end of the pool,  but at least she is giving voice to different elements of experience that one can relate to - mostly heartbreak, being young, and being in love.  It's hard to relate to Kanye West, at least for me, because so much of Kanye West is about being Kanye West.  He may couch this as art, but I can't grab on to much.    

So now you may think that I may be leaning towards Taylor in this whole feud.  But I don't think I can.  I admire that West is striving towards something - even if he seems to be only striving to a greater self aggrandizement as an art form.  I like Swift's music better, but it's cookie cutter and while West is trying to take us on a journey to Kanye-West-is-Jesus-Land, Taylor really is only taking us to an afternoon of humming "Bad Blood" to yourself all afternoon in a vaguely annoying way.  

We seem to be at impasse.  Neither of these two seems to be worth backing.  What shall we do?

Simple.  We shall give the award to the woman with the biggest tits.  And that, my friends, leads us to Kim Kardashian, the fury and the muse in this whole torrid affair.  

Kim Kardashian, oddly, seems to be the most authentic of them all.  She is merely famous for being famous - she doesn't seem to consider herself anything other than that and she isn't really anything other than that. There is no artistry here (though there is cunning).  She simply asks that we consume her, and be consumed by her, and be infuriated with her senseless fame.  It is her oxygen, her reason for existence, merely to be herself and be famous and that is all there is too it. And I guess for that she should be applauded?  Maybe?  

Phew.  A good breath of fresh air, that.  Lots of meaningful discussion about nothing.  So much more fun than meaningless conversations about the fate of our nation.