Fairness would dictate that I would sit here tonight and watch Hillary Clinton speak as she accepts the Democratic nomination for president. History demands it too. Where were you when the first woman officially accepted her nomination to be President of the United States?
The way things are going right now, I will either be asleep or I will be watching old episodes of Seinfeld on hulu, drinking hot cocoa laced with Bailey's. It may be 90 degrees right now at 9:57 pm with 80% humidity, but its still good.
Look folks: I'm tired. And it's not my job to watch these speeches and comment on them. Lots of people are doing that, they have lots of great things to say. Go and read their blogs.
But, since I guess I have to say something on this historic night, I offer this:
I read Obama's speech from last night, and it was awesome. Awesome. Frank Bruni of the New York Times called him an American Poet, and I think that's true. I don't know if we all agree on his vision of America, but he sure does sell it well. My God does he sell it well. I for one will be in line to buy his Presidential Memoirs whenever they come out; I am sure they will be a joy.
So, about Hillary Clinton.
Look, I'm going to vote for her. I think that's a foregone conclusion. Nothing Donald Trump could say or do is going to make me vote for him. He could get Katy Perry to meet me at the 36th street gate with 12 dozen fresh Krispy Kreme donuts and I still wouldn't vote for him. Even if he offered me a princely sum I wouldn't do it. I couldn't live with myself.
But Hillary Clinton -- I dunno man. She doesn't seem real to me.
I know I have said many times that the desire to have someone in office just like us common folk is sort of dumb. That was the supposed draw of Sarah Palin. "She's just like me!" I know I don't want someone just like me to be the leader of the free world. I am not up for it. My mother might think I would do a fine job, because that is what mother's do. But in my heart of hearts I just know that it would simply be to much for me.
What do we do about ISIS? I don't know.
.
How can we stimulate the economy? Beats me.
Sir, well, what about the Bushmen? What about them? Look, it's 10:13 PM, I'm really tired, I just want to belt back a few bourbons and watch reruns of Seinfeld on Hulu. Can we talk about this tomorrow?
But Hillary Clinton now. She has not driven her own car, probably, since 1992. That gives me pause. She also lied about her emails. That gives me longer pause. I was willing to forgive her for setting up her own server -- though why I was so willing to do that I am not sure. But the explanation she gave to us, had given us for months, turned out to be not quite the truth. That bothered me greatly. And now all these revelations about the DNC, backing Clinton over Sanders and trying to push him out of the race...The Clinton's are powerful. The most powerful people on this earth. They live in a different world, where maybe they just kind of do whatever they want. Thankfully they seem to do this mostly for good, but also I think for their own self-aggrandizement.
It's only a pause though. Oh Republicans. If you had managed to nominate a moderate this year, you might have had me. But now you guys are veering hard to starboard and you have nominated a demagouge for president. You could have had me, sans Krispy Kreme donuts.
But now? If you want my vote? It's going to cost you.
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