My Thoughts on The Force Awakes - WITH SPOILERS

Before you start reading this you should know something:  this discussion of the new Star Wars movie contains spoilers, some of them of the mega spoiler variety.  It is intended for people who have either seen the movie or will never, ever, see the movie because movies or the Star Wars franchise itself is odious to them. 

Yes, you may find it hard to believe, but there are few people out there who really hate Star Wars.  Not many, I’ll grant, not many.  Most people prefer Star Trek or at least kind of ambivalent about Star Wars, but I know one man who went to see Episode IV in 1977 and walked out of the theatre after 10 minutes, and he will still contend with you that Star Wars ruined American cinema.  Ruined it. 

I won’t bore you with a summary of the plot, because I am now assuming that if you have gotten this far you have already seen the film or you simply don’t care.  But here are my thoughts, in the form of a short catechism:

Overall, what did you think?  It was extremely enjoyable and quite good.  And it was fun!  I think the CNN reviewer said that this feels more like an Indiana Jones movie than a past George Lucas film, and I’d have to agree with him (or her).  There are more quips and one-liners intended to draw a laugh, and from me they got a smile.  I thought overall the dialogue was good, and I thought the actors all did really quite well within the limits set for them.  The John Williams score tied it all together.   Felt like getting back together with an old friend, who has been gone for a long time and has come back at long last.

Oh, and Stormtroopers are people again, reversing what I thought was one of the most damnable things about Episodes I-III.  The First Order seems to have settled on armies of indoctrinated soldiers, perhaps a mix of volunteers and people pressed into service.  They do seem to shoot a little better. 

Was it the greatest movie in the world?  No. 

Was it great in proportion to its marketing?  I don’t think so, no. 

An “overwhelming experience”, as the initial reviews suggested?  Nah.  But it put a smile on my face, and that ain’t easy to do.  I enjoyed it.  It gets a solid A in my book, though it doesn’t quite make it to an A+ level (which is really hard to do – I don’t like movies very much).  Go and see it.

What surprised you the most?  I was actually surprised at how central the role of the old characters was.  I thought that we’d kind of see them, they’d say “hey kids, how’s it going?” and they would kind of slip away.  A passing of the torch to a new generation.  Not so.  Han Solo had a huge role in this film.  Princess Leia less so, but she still figured in an important way.  And Luke?  We don’t see him till the end when Rey has found him and is holding his lightsaber out to him (I TOLD YOU THERE WOULD BE SPOILERS!!!!) and it’s clear that he will figure greatly in any future film.  He has to. 

Luke Skywalker really fucked things up, didn’t he?  Seems so.   It’s a shame Episodes I-III were so lousy, for if they had been better they may have seen wider release and maybe he’d know that bad things happen when Jedi Knights fall in love.  The movie doesn’t really say so, but I THINK that Rey is his daughter, and for that to happen he had to have fallen in love or at least, as my wife so charmingly says, “boinked” somebody.  Clearly she was British, because Rey has a beautiful accent. 

Oh Luke….I know it’s so hard to keep the old wibbly wobbly in the Hackensack when the gin and bubble is all apples and bears, but for the good of the galaxy couldn’t you have taken the bishop up to Exeter on the 5:11?  For the good of the galaxy.  Now look what you have done. 

Captain Phasma?

One real disappointment out of two for the movie.  The galaxy is a more diverse place, and that is definitely for the better.  Women are now allowed to pilot X-wing fighter craft and, apparently, be the commander of the First Order’s Stormtroopers.  But we never see her face, never hear her story, and she is the one who, at gun point, lowers the shields that allow the resistance fighters to attack “The Weapon”, which is just a very, very large Death Star that has actually been built into a Planet.  The First Order is a fanatical regime, they feel kind of like Nazis, and I imagine that any one that fanatical would rather have died then live with the shame of both being captured and lowering the shields.  It’s the one part of the movie where I was like “Come on!”  Equally inexplicably Finn and company don’t kill her after she has lowered the shields.  A friend called Captain Phasma a wasted character, and I’d have to agree with her. 

She at least LOOKS important.  Look!  The Stormtroopers have formed Square!

Disappointment the Second?

I don’t honestly think much of Kylo Ren – yet.  We live in age of television and film where there are no real heroes and no real villains, everyone has shades of light and dark.  That may be realistic, but it’s disappointing here in a world where giant furry things converse effortlessly with Droids.  I like my villains to be pure evil.  Best villain ever?  Jason Isaacs portrayal of Colonel Tavington in “The Patriot”, which is on the 5^th watching a really horrible film but Colonel Tavington is an equally horrible person, down to his core, and he is played ever so well by Isaacs.  Only thing that makes the movie still worth watching.

Kylo Ren is just a kid.  How he has he been given so much power by this Lord Snook person who looks kind of like Voldemort with a nose (and, for my money, Kylo Ren with the mask off sort of looks like a young professor Snape) I do not know.   He is not master of his own emotions, his anger explodes in violent outbursts, and he is an extremely conflicted young person.  All you maybe need to get him on the side of good is a couple sessions of good therapy and maybe a 20ml dose of anti-depressants.  The Weapon is on a cold and dark planet – maybe he has Seasonal Affective Disorder (aptly abbreviated as SAD).  Maybe a move to a nicer planet would bring about positive change.  I read some reviews that thought his mercurial character could be exploited in interesting ways in the future; I on the other hand would rather him get his shit together and be the villain I want him to be.

And granted – Darth Vader of Episodes IV-VI also showed conflict, but these were little pinpricks of light against darkness.  Love eventually overcame hate in the man’s stoic heart, and it was a Romantic triumph of the spirit over the power of darkness.  By contrast, it’s hard to say what is going to come out of the angst-ridden soup of Kylo-Ren’s soul.   Could be anything, and in some ways I think that makes his own conflict less meaningful, at least as a movie character.  It certainly would make any victory of good will less impressive.

Final Thoughts?

Love BB-8.  Wouldn’t mind seeing the last of C-3P0.  Looking forward to the next installment.