Ugh. It's an ugly ol' debate this. Merciless. I think Trump is actually doing kind of well, better than he did in the first debate (a low bar, admitedly), aside from sort of walking around in the background like an ogre, shoulders slouched, arms unnaturally hanging at his side like a pair of salamis. I also have a horrible feeling that I have read more, and thought more, about our wars in the middle east than Donald Trump has and about our history in general. You never want to have the feeling that you know more about something than your president does, or that you read more books than your president does. I don't know if it's true, maybe it's not, but his answer on Syria made me think of someone who has barely even thought about foreign policy at all. His answer about propping up Assad is maybe not a bad one, if you believe in Realpolitik, but we could never support Assad with a clear conscious in our current day and age. But all the other stuff that comes out of his mouth. A sneak attack, you say? By the dark of the moon? Zounds.
I'm also dismayed that there has been no questions all about Global Warming, as the water slowly starts to lap around my ankles. Well, one, sort of, at the end, but framed in a way that supports energy companies.
Okay. So here is my question: we all talk about debate prep and how important it is. But we don't know exactly how these things work. I mean yes, the mock debates, the policy books, yeah yeah yeah.
But how do you hydrate for this?
It's a good question, I think. If you don't hydrate enough, your mouth will be dry and you will pull a Rubio. Hydrate too much and you may be asking for a potty break, which would be extremely unbecoming for a future commander in chief. The extra water would perhaps make you sweat under the lights as well.
Trump and Clinton would handle it differently, of course. I see Hillary sitting there the night before with a gallon jug of water, taking it seriously, as she does everything. Two jugs of water, maybe, even. And then she just kind of coasts on that by sipping water throughout the day, counting on the adrenaline of political combat to keep her bladder as tight as that ol' Scotsman Pennypincher McGee.
Trump...I think he is more of a coffee guy. I don't know if he actually is, but he seems to have something of a Joe DiMaggio about him, who would drink coffee between innings (between innings! With a cigarette!). And I apologize to DiMaggio's descendants, if maybe they take offense to that, but you know Trump's from New York, and DiMaggio played for the Yankees, you know, bada bing bada boom, eh? Anyways, fueled on coffee he drinks just enough water to kind of lubricate the vocal chords. It is effective. The coffee keeps you awake, and the water at the end would not be enough to induce an awkward moment. Of course that would mean that he is actually dehydrated, and that can really make you feel awful...no wonder he is so angry.
I am sure Trump would say "I am always very hydrated, I drink a lot of water, a lot of water, I am very, very, good at hydration. Hillary Clinton has been a disaster at hydration. She talks about taking in all the proper electrolytes, talks and talks, but she does nothing. She's been a disaster as a Senator, when it comes to hydration. When I am president, we will be the most hydrated nation in the entire world, I guarantee it. She's a disaster."
Well....we'll see where all of this goes. Can we move the vote up to tomorrow, so we can just get it over with?
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