On the Selection of Paul Ryan

Watching Obama and Romney go at each other over the past few months has been like watching a really, really bad soccer match.

"But Nick," you say, "I thought you always said there no such thing as a bad soccer match!"

On the contrary, my friends, on the contrary.  While I will staunchily defend the beautiful game with every ounce of intestinal fortitude I have at my command until I'm pushing up the daises, I'll concede that there is nothing more miserable to watch on TV than a stagnant 0-0 draw.  That is, of course, in stark contrast to the sparkling 0-0 draw;  they do exist and they are exciting even if it is somewhat disappointing.

The Obama-Romney match-up had all the classic hallmarks of a study in nill-nill craptology.  On the one hand, you have Romney, who seems a little out of his depth, happy to have reached the knock-out rounds after a brutal qualifying campaign.  On the other hand, you have Obama, the reigning champion, confident that the match is his to be won if he simply doesn't lose it.  He hunkers down, puts 10 men behind the ball, and hopes to get a goal on the counter...like in the debates or something.  It's not a perfect analogy, but you get the idea.

So we've watched as they've poked and prodded, whinged and whined, flopped and faked, and passed the buck around and around and around with patented Spanish tikka-takka panache.  Romney keeps diving in the box, trying to draw a penalty and of course Obama picked up a card in the 21st minute, and all he can do is hold up his hands in the universal "What, me?  Me? Oh no.  No no no.  I didn't kick that guy in the balls" gesture.

This is exactly the look I was going for with regards to Obama, but you can't actually find a picture of Obama giving the  universal "what?" shrug, which astonishes me.  That's political discipline my friend.  That's political discipline! The man is a machine.

Now.  One of my favorite soccer cliches is "The game doesn't really start until the first goal is scored."  And this is a match that desperately needed a goal, desperately needed someone to take the initiative.  And just as we are getting towards convention time and the crowds are getting ready to leave their seats for cheap beer and meat pies, well, this happens:

Romney gets off the bus now.....really needs to wrest the initiative from the match here, looking for the first goal of the game...he walks up the podium...opens his mouth...Ryan?  RYAN?? Yes, yes it is!  RYAN! Oh, what a strike!

Or, if you prefer the Telemundo broadcast:

  

So there you go.  Mitt Romney, in selecting Paul Ryan as a running mate, has opened the scoring and finally made the race a little interesting.  The big question is now how do both sides respond?  Romney's clearly going to want to continue the attack to press for that second goal, but that could lave him vulnerable to an Obama side that can score so quick on the counter.  On the other side of the ball, Obama has certainly been knocked a little bit off their heels a bit by that goal, but then again I suppose it wasn't unexpected.  Don't expect them to change tactics.  Like Barcelona, Obama will stick to his game plan through thick and thin, try to establish possession in the midfield, and slowly grind down his opponent in a withering malestorm of negative advertisements (in all seriousness, Obama, LET UP!  I'm still going to vote for you, but I think you have done yourself great discredit in this campaign).                                                                   .

Game on! November can't come fast enough.