Good Grief, Dick Vitale has gotten OLD.
So, what do you do if you hate watching college basketball (and don't even bother to keep tabs on it) but love beating all your coworkers in the office pool?
Simple. Spend years developing a complex mathematical model that will predict the outcome of all the games for you.
This year I am pleased to announce that I will be filling out a bracket using my patent pending Collegiate Optimization Integrated Numeromethodology (COIN), which uses an incredibly sophisticated random probability method which will select the winners and losers at all stages of the March Madness campaign.
I have not watched a minute, nay, even a SECOND, of college basketball this year, as I have been too fully absorbed in other things to pay attention (as of late, I have been watching Arsenal's football fortunes turn to dust with great bemusement and a touch of sadness -- I will always have a special place in my heart for them, for some reason. Arsene Wenger wins my award for Quixotic sports figure of the year...for like 6 years running. A little inside joke to my soccer friends. Now THAT, my friends, is a sport I pay attention to. And that was a damn long aside). Despite this (my lack of basketball watching and/or knowledge, in case you forgot), I will fill out my bracket with my patent pending methodology and I fully expect to win.
It's as easy as flipping a coin.
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