Clinton v. Trump III: Slugfest in Sin City

Well, here we are again.  Clinton, Trump, national stage.  Clinton needs to look Presidential.  Trump, on the other hand needs to:

Or maybe not.  He may want to keep it tamped down.  But we'll see.

Clinton going with the white pant suit.  I was thinking she might.

It feels like we are actually going to have a substantive debate here....which is incredible.  It feels....boring here, 12 minutes in.  Which is so strange.  I guess that means I am one of those horrible people who has come to conflate politics with entertainment.  Shame on me.

Guns.  Hillary and Trump support the 2nd amendment.  Trump will give us all a free gun if he gets elected, with a free cowboy hat.

Abortion.  Trump sort of tries to play the politician by not answering the question about overturning Roe v. Wade directly.  He gives all the ick of being against abortion without any of the faith - why does he actually believe what he believes here?  What is behind the ethics?  Or is he just saying stuff to get elected?  Clinton makes a very, very, thoughtful defense of Roe v. Wade.  I am amazed that we are still having this discussion, after so many, many years.

Immigration.  Trump says disaster for the first time (1).  He manages again, to blame Clinton and Obama for all America's ills.  Ah!  The wall!  We are going to build a wall, stop the drugs, get the hombres out.  Trump goes for the water as Clinton answers.  I wonder how well he has hydrated.  Clinton is painting a very, very, bleak picture of Trump's policy.  How hard it would be, how bad it would be.  It's like Nazi Germany man.  She's winning here, I think, on Trump's number one issue.  "He Choked" she says.  He is not a politician.  I am, the person with the ovaries.  Vote for me.  Trump:  NAFTA is a disaster (2).  Trump also has rolled out a new term -- "Big League".  What the heck is that.  Disaster two more times (4).  And if Obama has deported so many people, why should we vote for Trump?

Now Clinton gets hit up with the Wikileaks open boarders thing.  She schluffs it off as an energy thing, and has tried to pin it on the Russia, Trump connection.  I honestly don't care much about the Wikileaks stuff - Clinton is a politician, I'm not surprised at what she has said in these emails or what her people have done.  Heaven forbid that a politician should actually be a politician.  But it plays badly for her.  It will be interesting to see if Trump brings this up.

Putin:  Trump is sort of talking shit about Russia.  Russia has played a bad hand well - I would love to see Trump do any better.  Trump goes for the water again.  He really should have had more water last night. Clinton has not had any water that I can see.

Puppets, all.

Economics (jobs!  They took our jobs!):  While I support the left, mostly, in economic terms, to a point, I am not sure that the president really has much impact on jobs and the economy. I don't agree with the minimum wage being raised (I think the states should handle it), but I like everything else that Clinton says, I just don't know how she will actually do all of this stuff (free tuition??  Come on.).  But she gives a very detailed sort of policy plan.  Trump says her plan is a disaster (5).  Trump has gone back to getting money from the people we are defending...We are going to have free trade but somehow not going to have free trade because we can get great deals, because Trump is going to be a great wheeler and dealer.  I just hope he does better with our country than he did with those casinos.  Did I mention that NAFTA is a Disaster (6)?

Clinton leans back to her experience.  I gotta say - having been in government during the great recession actually makes me think that she has more credence here.   Macro economics is not the same as running a casino into the ground.

Trump:  If China and India are growing at 7%, and 8%, why can't we?  The ignorance of this man knows no bounds.  Wallace asked a very pointed question, and he has not answered it at all.  Trump does say that hey, he told the truth (once), and it was fact checked.  Good for you, Mr. Trump.  Clinton comes out against TPP....it will be interesting to see if she signs it into law when (yes, when) she is President.

Fitness for president.  And here we go with the sexual misconduct allegations.  If his loose grip on policy disqualifies him from being a president, then I think these allegations (which I believe) certainly do.  But he does pivot to the news that comes out today about paid agitators at Trump rallies.  I don't think that Clinton was actually behind them, but man, it sure is damning.  But Clinton can throw Trump's words about women back into his own face.  Even if the allegations are not true, his response towards them, his belittling of the women who made them, has really hurt him.  Clinton looks very good here.  Going high.  High high high.

Speaking of which, 2016 has made me a believer in legalizing marijuana.  Hopefully it will make us all chill out.  We'd probably be way better off for it.

The Foundation:  Hoof.  A cringeworthy moment for Clinton on her foundation.  She is dodging the question.  It is her Achilles heel, and this is the one place where Trump is actually winning, I would say.  It is a good foundation, I would say, but it certainly looks like a conflict of interest.  Oh, if it was anyone but Trump, Clinton would probably not win this election.  But now Trump is under attack for his own foundation, and the tax returns.  The mud is flying thick here.

The rigged election now....will Trump accept defeat?  Eh.....maybe not.  This election is never going to end.  Trump is talking about fucking voter fraud on a grand, grand, grand scale.  There is simply no evidence for that.  Clinton, I think, comes out very strongly against Trump.  She really dresses Trump down.  He looks like a chided 8 year old boy who has been caught stolen a stick of gum.  Fire from the lady.

Hoof.  Foreign hotspots now.  Mosul!  The fight has begun.  What happens the day after that?  A good question?  Hold it...that's a bad question.  If Mosul gets retaken there wouldn't necessarily be a vacuum.  The Kurds would probably hang on to it.  Clinton will not put us there again as an occupying force...which I think is a good answer.  It still allows us to put troops in to assist.  Smart. She goes on to give a good answer.

Trump now.  What will you do next after Mosul?  Will you put in troops.  Ugh.  He won't answer the question.  Not at all.  Hillary gave a great answer.  This is a losuy, stupid, rambling answer from Trump.  And now he is talking about how bad the offensive is.  The sneak attack again.  I think it is idiotic that Trump would invoke McArhtur and Patton.  Trump is not the equal of either of those men, particularly from a military standpoint.  If he was, then he should have joined the goddamned Army.

TRUUUMMMPPPP!  Why did you put your weapon together so quickly Trump?!

Because hey, you know, you told me to.  And I'm great.  I'm a great soldier.

Jesus H. Christ Trump!  If you were not such a goddamned waste of a enlisted soldier I would recommend you for OCS Trump!  You are going to be a General someday Trump!

I know.  I'm great.

Now, disassemble your weapon and continue!

Trump on Aleppo now.  He won't even let the moderator ask the question.  Trump:  Aleppo is a disaster (8). Trump is saying Assad is smart...which he is, but he is also ruthless.  But even I could argue that if he had won, fast and early, things may have been better, much as we don't like him.

Clinton on the no-fly zone:  I think we could get it to work through cooperation.  But she doesn't say that we will shoot down a Russian or Syrian jet.

I am interested to see if they will shake hands after this.  If I was Hillary Clinton, I would not.

Clinton did say "radicalization".  She's 33.33% there.  If she could just say "radical Islamic terrorism" ISIS would magically just *poof*.

I think that even Chris Wallace is getting tired of Trump.

The debt:  Trump says that, somehow, magically, we are going to get 4% growth or more and that will keep the debt down.  We are going to make an economic machine by stealing underpants and then turn a profit on that.  There is a middle part in there somewhere, but don't worry about that.  Clinton on the debt:  Eh, I will not talk about it, but use the opportunity to attack Trump and his beliefs on America.  Oh, wait, she tacks back to the debt, and says that all of her stuff is debt neutral.  Because she will tax the rich.  At least she is honest about that, eh everyone? 

Entitlements now.  We have not talked about that at all during this long, long campaign.  Neither person has a plan to really take care of this.  Save up, everyone.  Would Trump make the grand bargain?  No.  Because we are going to steal underpants and turn profits.  Obamacare is a disaster (9).  It's a tired attack line.  Would Clinton do the grand bargain?  I dunno, but Trump has called Clinton a "nasty woman".  Clinton will not cut benefits, which I think, sadly, is not realistic.  But no politician would say that.  Ever.  Save your money people.  You are going to need it.  I wish I had some more money to save.

I better start writing that great American novel.

One minute for a closing statement.

Clinton:  I am reaching out to everyone.  We need everyone.  We will be better together than we are apart.  She has not been caught flat footed here.  Could she have somehow known this question was coming?  We'll find out from Trump tomorrow.  But it is a good, strong, stock answer from a consummate politician.

Trump:  Attacks Clinton first.  Trump will make America great again.  Law and Order.  Justice.  Inner cities are a disaster (10).  You will be shot going to the store.  It's an angry answer from an idiot.  Don't go in for four more years of Obama.  That is what you will get.

But Chris Wallace ends on a high note.  It's up to you America.  Go vote.  I hope we put Trump to the metaphorical sword.

No handshake between the two contenders.  Good for you Clinton.  Trump does not deserve it.  Not at all.  Clinton comes out immediately and shakes the hand of Wallace.  Trump sort of scowls behind his lectern.

Clinton wins, I'd say.  She almost never faltered.  She was always thoughtful, very prepared.  She was powerful.  She ducked and dogded when she has to, and survived what could have been some tough questions.  Trump was...Trump.  At his grumpy frumpy Trumpiness.  If Trump did have some good moments, he did himself in with his refusal to accept a metaphorical defeat and literally insulting Clinton on the stage.  To all his supporters, who have legitimate and real grievances with the way that they have been treated over the past years, this is a disaster (11).

Good night everybody.



  

Two Poems

Here are a couple of my poems from the last open mike night.  I don't normally share these just anywhere - either because I think they are not good enough or I want to save them in the hopes that one day they might get published somewhere (I got two being published later this year in a regional journal....might get some sandwich money out that!).

These went over well but are very much in the moment, with a political reference in the one and a reference to Billy Collins and Sharon Olds who both have new (or at least newish) books out right now.  

So, preamble complete, the poems:

Summer 2016

All Summer I scurry from

One air conditioned way station 

To the next; from house to car

To store and back again.  

Across the sea, people risk their lives

In small, crowded boats

Under a hot Mediterranean sun,

Thousands of Mayflowers setting sail

For a better life.

All summer we talk of

Building a wall

To make us great again.

We better build it high enough

So we can't peer over the top

To see those people on the boats,

Yearning to be free,

Lest we look greatness in the eye

And feel ashamed.

A Toast to Some Old Poets

A toast to Sharon Olds,

Gifted with the brashness 

To write about anything,

And to Billy Collins, who has

The wisdom and grace 

To often write about nothing,

Reminding all middle class

White suburbanites that

As demographic drift

Signals only slow decline

Of old norms, dusty ideals;

As new artists challenge

Deep rooted prejudices

Of a society built in the quicksands

Of supremacy and inequality;

That there are still things 

To write about, be it the 

Well mapped contours of your own body

And the tired glory of human sexuality,

Or the thoughts that sift through 

Your mind while standing

In the kitchen on a fall morning,

Listening to the dog snoring,

Lost in his own happy dreams.

The very stuff of our lived experiences,

So accessible it seems you can just

Reach out and grab it, spin words into 

Gold on a blank page.

Ah, but you will never write it so well.

Clinton v. Trump II: This Time It's Personal

Ugh.  It's an ugly ol' debate this.  Merciless.  I think Trump is actually doing kind of well, better than he did in the first debate (a low bar, admitedly), aside from sort of walking around in the background like an ogre, shoulders slouched, arms unnaturally hanging at his side like a pair of salamis.  I also have a horrible feeling that I have read more, and thought more, about our wars in the middle east than Donald Trump has and about our history in general.  You never want to have the feeling that you know more about something than your president does, or that you read more books than your president does.  I don't know if it's true, maybe it's not, but his answer on Syria made me think of someone who has barely even thought about foreign policy at all.  His answer about propping up Assad is maybe not a bad one, if you believe in Realpolitik, but we could never support Assad with a clear conscious in our current day and age.  But all the other stuff that comes out of his mouth. A sneak attack, you say?  By the dark of the moon?  Zounds.

I'm also dismayed that there has been no questions all about Global Warming, as the water slowly starts to lap around my ankles.  Well, one, sort of, at the end, but framed in a way that supports energy companies.

Okay.  So here is my question:  we all talk about debate prep and how important it is.  But we don't know exactly how these things work.  I mean yes, the mock debates, the policy books, yeah yeah yeah.

But how do you hydrate for this?

It's a good question, I think.  If you don't hydrate enough, your mouth will be dry and you will pull a Rubio.  Hydrate too much and you may be asking for a potty break, which would be extremely unbecoming for a future commander in chief.  The extra water would perhaps make you sweat under the lights as well.

Trump and Clinton would handle it differently, of course.  I see Hillary sitting there the night before with a gallon jug of water, taking it seriously, as she does everything.  Two jugs of water, maybe, even.  And then she just kind of coasts on that by sipping water throughout the day, counting on the adrenaline of political combat to keep her bladder as tight as that ol' Scotsman Pennypincher McGee.

Trump...I think he is more of a coffee guy.  I don't know if he actually is, but he seems to have something of a Joe DiMaggio about him, who would drink coffee between innings (between innings!  With a cigarette!). And I apologize to DiMaggio's descendants, if maybe they take offense to that, but you know Trump's from New York, and DiMaggio played for the Yankees, you know, bada bing bada boom, eh? Anyways, fueled on coffee he drinks just enough water to kind of lubricate the vocal chords.  It is effective.  The coffee keeps you awake, and the water at the end would not be enough to induce an awkward moment. Of course that would mean that he is actually dehydrated, and that can really make you feel awful...no wonder he is so angry.

I am sure Trump would say "I am always very hydrated, I drink a lot of water, a lot of water, I am very, very, good at hydration.  Hillary Clinton has been a disaster at hydration.  She talks about taking in all the proper electrolytes, talks and talks, but she does nothing.  She's been a disaster as a Senator, when it comes to hydration.  When I am president, we will be the most hydrated nation in the entire world, I guarantee it.  She's a disaster."

Well....we'll see where all of this goes.  Can we move the vote up to tomorrow, so we can just get it over with?