Blatter Must Scatter! Blatter Must Scatter! Blatter Must Scatter!

Allow me to add one more voice to the chorus of people calling (and hoping for!) Sepp Blatter's downfall.

This morning when I heard that plainclothes Swiss detectives had arrested a number of FIFA officials in their hotel I desperately hoped that Blatter was among them.  But like any good mob-boss he has insulated himself from the crimes of his organization, letting the Capos take the fall.

Okay, okay -- I don't know for sure that Sepp Blatter is the source from which all corruption springs forth at FIFA.  But there is no question that during his near 20 year presidency corruption rumors have dogged the organization.  He has done little to root it out, the smoke from the as yet unproven fire billowing more and more with each passing year.

While the officials arrested today (under the auspices of the United States of America -- USA! USA! USA!) have not been found guilty, in most other cases the scandal would be enough to bring about the end of the governing administration.  Sepp Blatter stands for election tomorrow at the FIFA convention.  I have a horrible feeling that somehow he will manage to be re-elected.

If Blatter has a shred of honor or love for the game of football, he will step down, he will not seek re-election, he will somehow close out his time as the leader of FIFA and leave the organization completely. Under his tenure football has grown into a money making machine and its popularity knows few bounds (the door to Anne Coulter's cold heart is one).  At the same time, if the allegations are true and the charges hold up, corruption and bribery has grown rife.  Guilty or not, he's the captain of this gluttonous grafting ship.  He should take responsibility, do the right thing, and step down.

    

A Fond Farewell to Mad Men

I'm pretty excited.

In 20 minutes the final episode of Mad Men begins, and it looks like I am going to manage to be able to stay awake for it.  Hopefully that will still be the case after I pour myself a good measure of Bourbon with which to toast what has been, for me at least, a wonderful show.

I've enjoyed most the passing of time on the show.  If you go back and watch the first episode now, it just looks like a completely different world.  The suits are different.  The office is dour.  The music is older.  The men are more masculine in an old fashioned Joe DiMaggio don't forget your hat at the bar kind of way, and the women are merely secretaries who are there to type memos and have their butts punched (in the first episode Don meets Ms. Menken,  a new client, and he can barely work with her.  A female client, the very idea!).  

But now?  It's 1969.  Women are still treated badly but with more respect than before and some of them are making gains, rising to increasing prominence in the world of advertising.  Some of the creative types have disposed of the suits and favor the beards and long hair like the late Jim Morrison, or Sgt. Pepper mustaches.

And if there is a theme to the last few epsidoes, it has been a sort of "is this all there is?" motif.  Here are all these characters who have spent their lives climbing to greater heights in the advertising world, using every ounce of their talents to sell material goods, and now that they have achieved so much or become incredibly rich (or in some cases both) they find themselves asking what else there is.

Perhaps the last episode will answer the question, but I'm guessing that few will find any kind of fulfillment.

But we'll see, yeah?  Let the end begin!

Is Ted Cruz Eating Camembert Cheese? America Must Know!

You know I got to thinking:

The one great thing about running for the GOP presidental nomination, the one thing that probably makes it better than running for the DNC's?  The food has got to be better.

One of the by-products of our consumer driven age is that you are now defined by what you buy and also by what you eat.  We play out our politics in fast food choices, organic pop-tarts, free ranged chickens with clean bills of mental health, lovely slabs of beef, gallon jugs of soda, and cheese.

You may find cheese to be an odd choice.  But what if we all found out that Ted Cruz enjoyed a good, runny, smelly Camembert cheese with fresh sliced pears at night while he sits in another hotel room, contemplating his next move?  For political purposes, he's probably stuck with home grown American cheese and a piece of ham.

But that's probably the worst of it.  Do they eat chicken in SC?  Maybe, if its been deep fried and slathered with pulled pork.  Do you think they served tofu at the NRA national meeting in Nashville?  Fuck no.  They probably had huge honking slabs of Texas steer, with extra bread to sop up all the blood.  Bacon?  It veritably grows on trees (and there is a GOP wing that wants to actually make that happen with some nifty genetic engineering.  Some say they are playing God, but most agree that God has given them the ability, why not use the gift?). It's on the donuts, in the pancakes, baked into the muffins.  Strippers may no longer pop out of cakes at Republican fundraisers, but Bacon is always welcome and it's just as greasy.  

But if you are running for the democratic nominee you are more likely to go to events where they try to make you kelp, because it's good for you and it doesn't have any feelings.....or does it?

So because of that, I am revising the number on conference room chicken and applying a third of a pound per day if Cruz speaks at a large event attended mostly by old people, and so I now think that Cruz has eaten maybe 13 lbs of chicken here on day 41 of the campaign.  Doctor Robert assures us that Mr. Cruz is getting plenty of iron.

Dr. Rob does complain about the coffee though.  Your stereotypical Republican is more likely to stick with Folgers because it's cheap and that leaves them with more money to buy guns and ammo.  While this does prepare one well for the coming zombie apocalypse it does make for a pretty dismal brew - though you may as well get used to it, because when the zombies come the trip to the Starbucks on the corner will become very risky indeed.

Liberals don't really have the money either, as they have spent all their money on Che Guvara T-shirts and the drugs that they keep slipping into the reservoirs that are turning us all into homosexuals and slowly destroying America.  But they need that special coffee to focus their minds, steeped as they in the bitter tea of atheism and fear of the great nothingness of Death. So they spring for better beans on credit.

For the moment at least Doctor Robert has the run of the DC Coffee scene, which has to be pretty good (I'm not really sure), as Cruz has spent much of his time recently there.  This past weekend he could be seen in Columbia, SC, speaking at the SC GOP Convention along with some other presidential hopefuls.

But he shouldn't get too comfortable:  the next senate recess is a mere 20 days away, and I'm sure that Ted yearns to be back on the trail....

Ted Cruz Magical Mystery Tour – Current Stats

Days Campaigning:  41

Days spent on the Road: 26

Miles Traveled: 16,062

Lbs of Chicken Consumed: 12.75