And then just when they are on the ropes due to our cunning play calls Frank Beamer will give 'em the old razzle dazzle and then it'll be TOUCHDOWN TECH! All day! All motherfucking day!
Hmmm? What's the old razzle dazzle, you say? I'll let these guys explain it.
Watching this, I am amazed at how much the game has changed and yet how much it stays the same. Sure, players these days wear face masks and their uniforms are better. But then for similarities note the tiny college and the huge, megolithic stadium; the fact that the students at Taxidermy Tech had to move their cars out of the commuter lot so that the alumni could park there and roast legs of mutton and drink flagons of beer; the overriding concern for the athlete's health; the god-like demeanor of the coaches; the fact that you practically need a law degree to decipher football's many, many, many rules -- to the point that last year I noticed Fox actually had a pundit standing by to break down the rules when something like the field goal shown in the clip happens and no one knows what to do.
Which brings up an important question: what would happen if that happened? Luckily it probably won't because one thing that has changed is that we don't allow the referees to carry firearms, much less use live ammunition. Though I am sure there are those in our society that think we should...
The other thing I notice that really has changed is the fact that the coach wouldn't be allowed to smoke on the sidelines, or in the locker room, or on school grounds, or on the street, or in his home (his wife won't let him). No, he'd end up shivering on the deck of his considerable, his cigar quivering between his lips in the cold dark of night.
*Sigh* We've come a long way, America. Not that's that's necessarily a bad thing - our collective moral compass is much better honed than it used to be with regards to equality and justice for all peoples, even if our individual moral compasses are spinning around in a miasma of nihilistic relativism. We have made some incredible gains in the last 100 years.
At the same time, I have a hard time imagining what this guy would say if, after strolling into a time warp and walking into a local McDonald's, some pimply kid told him that he can't smoke in the restaurant and that he couldn't have as much orange soda as he wants: thanks to our latest offensive in the Battle of the Bulge soda consumption is capped at 24 oz. because "McDonald's cares".
I doubt he'd be particularly pleased. On the other hand, he'd probably be pretty happy with how much we have advanced with regards to cheerleader costumes, so I reckon in his mind it would be a wash.
Huh. Maybe we haven't come as far as I thought we have after all.
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