Thoughts on the 2nd Presidential Debate!

I'm going to do it!  There is nothing else for me to do this evening and I just feel this strange compulsion to write and watch some crazy good debate action.

But tonight, instead of just commenting on the two men locked in hot one on one campaign action, I will be answering the people's questions.  Will I win the debate?  You be the judge.

Allright:

Question #1:  A young man named Jeremy wants to know if is going to have a job after college.  What can we do to make sure that the man has a job in 2014?  

Well Jeremy, that all depends on what you majored in.  Did you major in science, engineering, technology, or business?  I can tell you that I reckon you are going to have a pretty good chance at getting a job of some kind, somewhere, especially if you are willing to relocate.  Did you major in 1660's English Diarist Studies or Sackbutt performance?  We'll do our best to have a nice, mind-numbing, factory job open for you.  Congratulations, though, on following your dreams.

Mad props to Candy Crowley for telling Romney to shut up and sit the fuck down.  Howard Webb would be proud.

Next?

Question 2:  Is it the Energy Department's purpose to lower gas prices?

Nope.

Ho boy.  I hope "Jeremy the College Kid" doesn't become this election cycle's "Joe the Plummer".

Hey, in case you guys were wondering, a sackbutt is kind of trombone from the middle ages.  Let's see if I can find a good picture of it on the Internet here...

There you go.  Sackbutts, from a 1511 German treatise called "Das Schones Tootenhorn" by Heinz Himmelfahrendingledoppershchillmenschallmenpoofenpop von Ulm.

Next.  Hopefully, the next one will be a better question.  Though I must say for such a mundane question we have gotten a lot of fireworks out these guys.  I wonder if they are actually going to come to blows.  Like are they going to throw off the gloves and try to stab each other with their wingtips?  I wouldn't be surprised if by the end of these three debates someone loses an eye.

Question 3:  Taxes, Glorious Taxes!  Which tax deductions would Romney actually do away with?

I'm going to let Romney answer this one.  If he actually will stoop so low as to actually answer a question.  Romney would have made a great dodge ball player....and maybe he is.

Ugh.  What an awful answer.  So you are going to cap my deductions at $2,000 or so, and then you are going to make my income from investments and capital gains tax free?  That would great, you know, if I actually had capital gains coming in.  But I'm not the Monopoly man; I'm a middle class man working his ass off in a cracker jack factory with a heavy debt load.  I don't think Romney has really thought this one through yet, certainly not to the point where he can make a succinct statement as to what he would do.  I'm sure he has a 13 point plan though.

I actually had a co-worker at work defend low capital gains tax rates, and it was pretty compelling.  The low tax rate on capital gains encourages people to make a risky investment.  My income is guaranteed (provided I don't get fired)...but if you are investing in the market with no guarantee of a return, maybe you should be rewarded for your chutzpah for having a low rate.

The first plank of the the Romney make America okay again is ENERGY INDEPENDENCE IN 5 YEARS????  Are you kidding me?  You may as well say you are going to build three attack submarines a year....

Next?

Question 4:  In what ways can we rectify inequality in the work place, especially income equality for females.

Females and males should make the same amount of money if they are doing the same type of work.

How could I make that happen?  I don't know.  It's a good thing I am not in this debate, because this question really would have caught me flat footed.  As an engineer, I am not used to giving a half answer that I transition into talking points.

Oh, how magnanimous of governor Romney to go out and search high and low for women to fill his cabinet, and to give them flexible schedules so they can do all that stuff at home that they are supposed to be doing because even though they are in high powered political positions they still have vaginas.

Hey, how come women are always the one who have to leave at 7 or 8 so they can make dinner for their kids?  Because I can tell you there a lot of men out there who are coming home from work and then playing with children, cooking dinner, and doing dishes (did you hear that!?  Cooking dinner AND doing dishes!!). This ain't 1950.

Next?

Question 5:  Hey Romney, how different are you from George W. Bush?

Romney has a 5 point plan.  George Bush shot from the hip.  Didn't particularly take aim pretty well, either.

I wonder George Bush is watching this now?  What does he think of all this?  Or is he living blissfully on his ranch clearing brush and riding bikes?

Note that Romney said nothing about how Bush got us involved in a land war in Asia, implying that Romney would be a-okay with doing that again.  Clearly both he and President Bush have never seen The Princess Bride, so I guess that is one way they are not different.

Bold, bold move from Obama, actually trying to make Romney sound like he is worse than Mr. Bush.

And a folksy idiom from Ms. Crowley, saying Question 6 is in the same wheelhouse as Question 5.  I tried to use that idiom at work once, saying that a certain problem was right in my wheelhouse.  I was told never to say something like that again.

I guess that is another way I am not cut out for the campaign trail.  Not only do I have no grasp of the 5 d's of campaigning (dodge duck dive dip and dodge the wrench...I mean balls...I mean questions), but I also sound very clunky when I try to use folksy expressions such as:

That is better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick.

I'm going to give it the old University try.

Mamma warn't born in no log cabin.

I come from humble origins.  My mother was born in a log cabin.

Well you know what they say...fairground food tastes like shit.

My nipples are just exploding with udder delight!

Okay, the next question

Question 6:  Why should I vote for you again, Mr. Obama? I am not better off than I was 4 years ago, and the things I need to live are pretty expensive.  

Sorry to hear life is so hard for you.  Take 50 CC's of "suck it up cupcake" and move on.

Vote for me.

Next!

Question 7:  Immigration. How you doing President Romney?  What are you going to do to immigrants that are here without green cards?

What's that you say?  Papers, please.

Woah woah woah there Romney! "You got an engineering degree, it's stamped to a green card, come on over"? You going to bring in a bunch of foreign scientists and engineers to take jobs from our own homegrown engineers?  From corn/beef/HGH fed Americans?  Is that how you are going to build three attack submarines a year?  You are going to bring in a bunch of ringers to do it for us?

Dude.  At least Romney maybe got the woman's name right.  Come on Obama.

Here in the 7th question Candy Crowley still has a pretty good measure of control over this debate.  

Next question please.  I am getting tired, I'd like to go to bed, and I am still hoping against hope to make it to the gym before work...I've got maybe another 30 minutes to go...

Question 8:  Change of topic.  Huzzah!  Kerry Latka is a man, man!  Obama seems to have been caught flat footed by this, as have I.  Can he recover his wits?  Who denied security for the Libyan mission?

Obama is kinda sorta taking responsibility for the Libyan screw-up, as he should.  He's boxed himself into a corner, and it's mate in one for Romney.  Will he move his rook to pen him in?

Oh no.  He doesn't just move his rook and complete the endgame.  He moves the rook, slams it down on the table, says "Checkmate Mothafucker!" and upends the board scattering pieces everywhere as he accuses Mr. Obama of going to a fundraiser the day after a US ambassador is assassinated and our country is in foreign policy crises mode.  Would Romney act differently under similar circumstances?

He transitions neatly into the Arab Spring and the Middle East.  I really, really, really wonder what else could be done about the Arab Spring.  Its such a fluid situation, there are so many factions.

Obama defends his leadership though, replacing the board, gathering the pieces, and throwing it back in Romney's face.  Hasn't Romney played politics with this whole situation as well?  

Romney accuses Obama of not telling the truth on national TV concerning the Rose Garden speech on the Benghazi attack, claiming that Obama did not call it a terrorist attack during that Rose Garden speech....

....Obama stands his ground and said that he did....

And....

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BARACK OBAMA has seemed to won a most improbable point here late on, and Candy Crowley has given him the goal saying that he did say it was a terrorist attack in the Rose Garden the day after the Benghazi affair.

But did he now? Did he?

Here is the transcript from the White House itself:

Statement by the President on the Attack in Benghazi

I strongly condemn the outrageous attack on our diplomatic facility in Benghazi, which took the lives of four Americans, including Ambassador Chris Stevens. Right now, the American people have the families of those we lost in our thoughts and prayers. They exemplified America's commitment to freedom, justice, and partnership with nations and people around the globe, and stand in stark contrast to those who callously took their lives.

I have directed my Administration to provide all necessary resources to support the security of our personnel in Libya, and to increase security at our diplomatic posts around the globe. While the United States rejects efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others, we must all unequivocally oppose the kind of senseless violence that took the lives of these public servants.

On a personal note, Chris was a courageous and exemplary representative of the United States. Throughout the Libyan revolution, he selflessly served our country and the Libyan people at our mission in Benghazi. As Ambassador in Tripoli, he has supported Libya's transition to democracy. His legacy will endure wherever human beings reach for liberty and justice. I am profoundly grateful for his service to my Administration, and deeply saddened by this loss.

The brave Americans we lost represent the extraordinary service and sacrifices that our civilians make every day around the globe. As we stand united with their families, let us now redouble our own efforts to carry their work forward.

Note that President Obama never actually calls it an act of terror, but rather an outrageous attack.  I think Romney is wrong in spirit, but technically he may be correct.

Tomorrow I am sure we will sort through the mess and Fox News will say that Candy Crowley, CNN anchor and card carrying member of the liberal media, was intent on making sure Obama won the debate.

For me, I think its clear that we need instant replay in these things.  The stakes are too high for the ref to just give a controversial goal to one side or the other.  We have the technology to make sure we get it right, and we should get it right.  On the other hand, this is a truly compelling moment in this debate, and one wonders if an official review would slow the game down too much.

Speaking of which, I have paused the debate to write all this up and do the fact checking that you deserve.  I had thought that Obama had just won the debate, but its turns out tomorrow he may lose it again.

Let's see what happens next...

It's confusion on the pitch.  Romney said Diego Maradona handled the ball before dishing it off to Barack, and Obama has whipped his shirt off in a Brandi Chastainesque celebration as he dives into the corner on his knees, hands splayed out and upwards in gratitude to the football gods.  He must be careful, because he could be booked for that.

Obama seems to know he is won a dubious goal, and with a nod to Crowley and the great mercurial Maradona the debate moves on to the next question.

Question 9:   Can we keep assault rifles out of people's hands?  Should we?

Ya'll know how I feel about this.

Romney's commentary on education and the state of our culture today are prescient.  But now he going to bring up fast and furious, ruining what could have been a good moment for him, I think.  Sometimes it's best to just hold your fire, for all the flak Obama has taken for not doing so during the first debate.

Question 10:  Stand up Carol Goldberg, and ask your question.  How are we going to keep jobs here?

I think, as Tenacious D suggest, we should build a Deth Starr.

Look, It's going to take millions of people to build a ship that looks like a small moon.  Millions.  Lots of engineering, lots of manufacturing, and of course you need people to serve those workers beer and burgers and sell them books and other stuff like that.

Ah, the last question.

Question 11:  Labor is cheap in China.  How you gonna get Apple to build their stuff here?

Look, there isn't enough time to answer this question.  I'll just throw some buzzwords out there.

Science.  Engineering.  Business.  Thought Leadership. America.

Question 12:  So Question 11 was not the last question?  Oh man.  

Hey, listen, I thought question 11 was the last question of the night.  You can't tell me there is one more question and throw another question out there.  I am sorry.  You just can't do that.  In protest, I will not answer this so called last question.

Romney is going to try though.  His message in a nutshell:  I believe in God, and I am awesome.  Don't settle for four more years of American lassitude.  Vote for me.  Don't vote for him.

And now Obama's turn.  His message in a nutshell:  Comrade Gary,  I will fight for you.  My grandad fought the Nazis.  If they were here, I would fight the Nazis too, you better believe it.  Vote for me.

Three more weeks to the election.  Can't come soon enough.

Let's call it a draw.  A quick spell check and it's off to bed.

P.S.

After further review, Obama did in fact refer to the attacks in Benghazi as "acts of terror".  If you actually watch the video of the speech, which is very, very different from the transcript posted previosuly, at 4:19 he does say

No acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation, alter that character, or eclipse the light of the values that we stand for.  Today we mourn four more Americans who represent the very best of the United States of America.  We will not waver in our commitment to see that justice is done for this terrible act.  And make no mistake, justice will be done.

So in the end Obama earned his goal after all (though I am sure Crowley's role in giving it to him will still be a question featuring prominently on Hannity tomorrow), and Romney has a moment where he was mistaken greatly on the floor.  Only time will tell if it will end up mattering very much on Election Day, but its clear here that Romney got too greedy in going for the jugular and Obama scored big on the counterattack.  I wonder who outfoxed who here?

Here is the full speeh:



And a transcript of what was actually said:

10:43 A.M. EDT

THE PRESIDENT:  Good morning.  Every day, all across the world, American diplomats and civilians work tirelessly to advance the interests and values of our nation.  Often, they are away from their families.  Sometimes, they brave great danger.

Yesterday, four of these extraordinary Americans were killed in an attack on our diplomatic post in Benghazi.  Among those killed was our Ambassador, Chris Stevens, as well as Foreign Service Officer Sean Smith.  We are still notifying the families of the others who were killed.  And today, the American people stand united in holding the families of the four Americans in our thoughts and in our prayers.

The United States condemns in the strongest terms this outrageous and shocking attack.  We're working with the government of Libya to secure our diplomats.  I've also directed my administration to increase our security at diplomatic posts around the world.  And make no mistake, we will work with the Libyan government to bring to justice the killers who attacked our people.

Since our founding, the United States has been a nation that respects all faiths.  We reject all efforts to denigrate the religious beliefs of others.  But there is absolutely no justification to this type of senseless violence.  None.  The world must stand together to unequivocally reject these brutal acts.

Already, many Libyans have joined us in doing so, and this attack will not break the bonds between the United States and Libya.  Libyan security personnel fought back against the attackers alongside Americans.  Libyans helped some of our diplomats find safety, and they carried Ambassador Stevens’s body to the hospital, where we tragically learned that he had died.

It's especially tragic that Chris Stevens died in Benghazi because it is a city that he helped to save.  At the height of the Libyan revolution, Chris led our diplomatic post in Benghazi.  With characteristic skill, courage, and resolve, he built partnerships with Libyan revolutionaries, and helped them as they planned to build a new Libya.  When the Qaddafi regime came to an end, Chris was there to serve as our ambassador to the new Libya, and he worked tirelessly to support this young democracy, and I think both Secretary Clinton and I relied deeply on his knowledge of the situation on the ground there.  He was a role model to all who worked with him and to the young diplomats who aspire to walk in his footsteps.

Along with his colleagues, Chris died in a country that is still striving to emerge from the recent experience of war. Today, the loss of these four Americans is fresh, but our memories of them linger on.  I have no doubt that their legacy will live on through the work that they did far from our shores and in the hearts of those who love them back home.

Of course, yesterday was already a painful day for our nation as we marked the solemn memory of the 9/11 attacks.  We mourned with the families who were lost on that day.  I visited the graves of troops who made the ultimate sacrifice in Iraq and Afghanistan at the hallowed grounds of Arlington Cemetery, and had the opportunity to say thank you and visit some of our wounded warriors at Walter Reed.  And then last night, we learned the news of this attack in Benghazi. 

As Americans, let us never, ever forget that our freedom is only sustained because there are people who are willing to fight for it, to stand up for it, and in some cases, lay down their lives for it.  Our country is only as strong as the character of our people and the service of those both civilian and military who represent us around the globe.

No acts of terror will ever shake the resolve of this great nation, alter that character, or eclipse the light of the values that we stand for.  Today we mourn four more Americans who represent the very best of the United States of America.  We will not waver in our commitment to see that justice is done for this terrible act.  And make no mistake, justice will be done.

But we also know that the lives these Americans led stand in stark contrast to those of their attackers.  These four Americans stood up for freedom and human dignity.  They should give every American great pride in the country that they served, and the hope that our flag represents to people around the globe who also yearn to live in freedom and with dignity.

We grieve with their families, but let us carry on their memory, and let us continue their work of seeking a stronger America and a better world for all of our children.

Thank you.  May God bless the memory of those we lost and may God bless the United States of America.

END
10:48 A.M. EDT