Sunday, September 16, 2012

The Hokies Invade the North - and Lose. Again.

Okay Hokie fans.  Light up a cigarette with shaky hands to steady the old nerves; it's time for another wassoblog sports update.

It's been a ....a mixed week for sports this week.  Let's run through the news.

Football:   The Steelers lost to Denver last week, but I wasn't surprised -- as a matter of fact, I was actually rather pleased with myself because I picked them to lose that game.  I find that in that situation the pride I gain by actually predicting the outcome of the game swallows up any bad feelings I might have about the Steelers losing.  Clearly, I have much yet to learn about being a true NFL fan.  

Good news is this week the Steelers are hosting the Jets, and I have gotten behind my team and picked them to win.  So I will be able to root 100% for the team.  Come on Steelers!

Football:  The Marickovich Zips, the premier fantasy team in NNS E42 league B, picked up their first ever win this week!  Go Zips!

Football:   Chelsea are top of the table, the only team in the premier league to get three wins out of their first three games.  As of press time they have already played against QPR but I am currently watching it on DVR.  The game is at QPR and Chelsea are having a tough time breaking them...but as we approach half time its still 0-0 and the intensity of the match has lessened.  

It's a game with a lot of bite to it - last year Chelsea defender John Terry was accused of using a racial slur against one of the QPR players.  He was actually charged with a crime somehow in relation to that (amazing that, yeah?  But that's English law for you) but was acquitted.  So the two teams have a history. 

Incidentally, I will often pick Chelsea to lose a match if I really think they are going to be defeated - I am a realist after all, often to a fault.  But if Chelsea loses I derive little joy out of picking the outcome correctly.  Just shows you where my true colors lie.

And finally:

Sigh...Football:  Frank Beamer could only watch in dismay behind a pair of old man sunglasses (really, I think my grandmother has the same pair) as The Hokies were defeated by Pitt yesterday, 35-17.  I talked to my cousin John Marinkovic, who traveled with the team, about the game.  

Me:  Hey John.  

John:  Hey.  

Me:  I know you were traveling with the team this weekend.  Do you think you could answer a couple questions about the game?

John:  I'd be delighted.  

Me:  Great.  So why were you traveling with the team?

John:  I guess they thought since our ancestors came over from Serb-

Me (interjecting): Croatia

John:  from SERBIA to western PA to work in the mills, I guess they thought I could help them navigate the culture.  

Me:  But you and I have never lived in western PA. 

John:  I know that.  But Jim Weaver, Grand Poo-bah of athletic strategery, was insistent.  Really thought it would help the team win.

Me:  Well, you did a lousy job.  

John:  It's not my fault.  

Me:  So why do you think the Hokies lost?

John:  Well, I think the area just got to the Hokies.  It's almost as if Pitt retreated from Cincinnati last week and gutted the country side around Pittsburgh.  I mean, the mills are shut down, the town centers are empty, the bakeries are all shuttered.  

Me:  Does the Tarquinio bakery, maker of bread that is lighter than air (because, for the most part, it is air), still stand?

John:  No.  And that's part of the thing.  I mean, it was a miserable trip.  As we drove up I-79 the sun disappeared behind the clouds.  Everything just got grey.  There was snow still in places betwixt

Me (interjecting again):  Betwixt?  Are you fucking kidding me?

John: BETWIXT the leafless trees.  Wolves prowling the empty, derelict streets, looking for lost gypsy children.  

Me:  Oh come on.  I thought Pittsburgh was being revitalized by reinvestment in the IT industry.

John:  Were you there?

Me:  No.

John:  Well I was, so shut up.  The city proper is one thing, but that "revitalization" has yet to really reach the outlying areas.  Look, most of the guys on the Hokies team are Virginia boys, used to the sunny countryside, the rolling hills, the rustling of taffetta gowns through spacious colonial homes.  It was a real culture shock.  One of the players came up to me on the bus and said "Dude, where the hell are we?  This place looks like it's right out of that fucking Deerhunter movie".  

Me:  An astute observation.  But wasn't that filmed in Cleveland?

John:  Would you want to travel to Cleveland to play football?

Me:  Well, if that means you are going to be playing the Cleveland Browns, then maybe, because you are likely to win.  But no, I see what you mean.  That would be extremely unnerving if you weren't used to it.

John.  Yeah.  And you know, when we got there, the only restaurant still open was Permanti Brothers.  While the boys from Pitt have been raised on that kind of stuff, the kids from Va Tech are just not used to all that grease, eggs, cheese, the meats....I think the fact that they were forced to eat there because there was no other option may explain the Hokies sluggish start.

Me:  And you think if the Hokies had been in a better frame of mind, if they had been not so depressed from their journey into the north, you think maybe they would have found a way to overcome that sluggish start?

John:  Absolutely.  

Me:  Great work!  Thanks John.  Doviđenja!

John: You mean довиђења, don't you?

Me:  Fuck you.

John:  Right back at you. 

So there you have it.  Expert sports analysis from the Marickovich/Marinkovich clan.  Stay tuned.




          


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