Tom Hanks: A Profile.

Tom Hanks has had a long, amazing, though sometimes difficult life.   

Two lives, actually. 

Let me explain.  Tom Hanks was born on a small farm town in Pennsylvania to Mary Robert Hanks and Jefferson Simpson Hanks, on July 21, 1912.  He grew up strong and became a school teacher and coached little league before volunteering to fight in World War II.  As we all know, Tom Hanks died on a bridge in a small town in France while trying to save John Francis Patrick Ryan, who did actually go on to invent a better lightbulb.

As Tom's soul headed up to Heaven, God said "There is much much more for you to do, Mr. Hanks", and he sent him back to Earth, to a little town called Greenbow Alabama. 

There, Tom became a football star, and he went on to have the honor of serving our country AGAIN, this time in the jungles of Vietnam.  He became a ping pong ball champion, a shrimp boat captain, and he ran across the country several times over. 

What does one do after crossing the Mississippi river 12 times?  Why, go into space of course! And that is exactly what Tom Hanks did, flying on the ill-fated Apollo 13.  While it unfortunate that Tom never did get to set foot on the moon due to a horrible space accident, his cool leadership and a lot of help from some very nerdy and awesome people managed to bring him home again. 

Tom Hanks was an international hero, and he used his clout to live the good life.  He banged a mermaid and became a toy executive.  But what goes up must come down, and times got tough.  He stayed in public service, becoming a detective with his parter Hooch, but Hooch ate all his furniture and died young.  Tom managed to pick up the pieces and get a job with Fed Ex, but that didn't turn out too good either, becuase he got marooned on a desert island (during this time, he did become a volleyball enthusiast).  He was eventually rescued, but didn't do well and turned to a life of crime.  He had to leave the country to escpae from the fuzz, and so he headed to the small Eastern European nation of Krakosia. 

Krakosia was an awesome place, full of hard drinking and hard working Eastern Europeans, and he found work as a contractor.  But Krakosia lacked one thing:  Jazz music.  So he saved every Krakosai Krona and headed back to America to listen to some jazz.  But enroute Krakosia erupted into war and Tom Hanks had to live in an airport for a long time. 

He used this time to bone up on the classics, and when the war was over and he was allowed to leave the airport he did not return to Krakosia, but rather became a college professor who stuck his nose a little to far in the Catholic Church's business and he almost died from it.  You would think he learned his lesson, but he ended up doing it again, only this time with a different female lead by his side. For this, he recieved little financial compensation.

Finding himself at a crossroads, it looks like things are looking up for Tom Hanks.  He is about to go back to college, he's bought a sweet moped, and if he plays his cards right he just might have a chance to have sex with Julia Roberts.

I wish him all the best, and I hope things turn out well for Tom Hanks.

Gold Cup!

If you haven't been watching the Gold Cup coverage on Univision: shame on you.  For those of you who don't know what the Gold Cup is: double shame.  I'm not going to go through the trouble of explaining it.  Go and Google it. 

Mind you, I only know a few Spanish words, and those are the ones I remember from watching Sesame Street.  Yet I understand the passion of the commentary as Chichirito lines up a shot, and the catharsis of seeing the ball ripple the back of the net.

The USA really only cares about soccer when the US National Team is in the world cup.  Even my Dad, a committed soccer fan, hasn't been able to bring himself to watch it (though I think he will probably watch the final, because the US made it by beating Panama earlier today 1-0).  The nation's apathy was no more evident than during today's semi-final matches, where most of the fans present were Hondurans and Mexicans waiting for the 2nd semi-final match of the day.  Whereas the US played for a pretty quiet stadium, the Mexicans and Honduran National teams are battling it out in front of a raucous crowd.  It's worth noting that the games are being played in Houston, but I think the same thing would play out no matter where the games were played.

Me?  I'm so soccer starved it doesn't really matter.  It's been a while since Messi decimated Manchester United in the Champions League final and signaled the beginning of a long, soccer deprived summer.  Yes, I could watch MLS, but while I appreciate what they have done for US Soccer I still can't quite bring myself to do it.  From what I've seen, it is getting better though.

Don't know what MLS is?  Still?  Google it then, for all God's love! 

True, there are other sports.  Basketball goes well into the summer, but I really don't care for it.  The hockey Playoffs are something I used to really love, but for some reason I've lost interest in those as well.   Then there is baseball, which is a game I like and I love the idea of sitting down to watch a nice slow game on a lovely afternoon; but if I can't sit outside and watch it with a brat in one hand and a beer in the other I don't really want much part of it. 

So its been the Gold Cup for me, and as Fox Soccer is only showing the US team I've been watching the rest on Univsion.  I haven't learned any Spanish.  Now that we are in the elimination rounds, its been surprisingly riveting. 

As a final note, in this soccer starved summer, I would be remiss if I did not mention the Women's World Cup.  Its been a long time since Brandy Chastain whipped her top off to celebrate beating the Chinese in the finals, and it would be nice to see the US team win again, and unlike the men's team they have a decent chance of doing so in almost any given women's world cup.  So that is something.  The women's game is not as fast as the men's game, but at this level its played with good tactical acumen and skill and since its slower sometimes you can actually see things developing better.  So that's a plus.  I'll probably watch as much as I can, keep that what soccer I can in my blood for as long as possible, and limp into the fall when finally, FINALLY, the Premiership starts again.

What's the premiership??  Why don't you just go --- *sigh*.  Forget it.  Does anybody got a light?

Books You May Not Like: People of the Book

I don't know if it's kosher to write a response to a book before you have finished reading it.  The idea is a liberating one, in my mind.  One of the problems with blogging is that suddenlly one starts thinking more about what one will write about an experience than the experience itself.  For books, I find this dampens the pleasure of reading.

So, I am going to go ahead and tell you all that I absolutely love this book so that I can stop worrying about that kind of stuff and go on and read the rest of it unfettered by the chains of self publishing.

I consider myelf a fan of Geraldine Brooks; I enjoyed Year of Wonders  and I thought that March was excellent, well deserving of it's 2006 pulitzer prize (as if I am in a position to judge...).   People of the Book was published in 2008 and I had often held it in my hands, ready for purchase, only to be put off by the plot summary on the back; I guess the Sarajevo Haggadah didn't grab my attention as much as the Plague or the Civil War.  But then the local Border's announced it was closing, and during the mad dash for heavily discounted books I wrestled this one from the delicate hands of a short, stocky bald man.  Such hands!  Good enough for modeling, I dare say.  In order to honor him and our struggle, I had to buy it.  It would be dishonorable to do otherwise.

I was glad I finally got around to reading this one, as it has cemented Brooks' status as one of my favorite writers.  Brooks' specializes in historical fiction, but this one is a little different becuase we are jumping around in time, from Sarajevo in World War II, then to Vienna and inqitision Venice, and finally back to Spain, as we are treated to little vignettes on the people that have come into contact with the Haggadah.  These stories are woven into a larger plot line as a book restorer, Hanna, tries to trace the history of the book.

Like Brooks' other books (though I don't know about her latest, Caleb's Crossing, which just came out), People of the Book is refreshingly spare in an age when many historical ficition writers feel that the tome is the only way to give weight to a subject.  She doesn't waste a word, doesn't bludgeon you with historical and technical details, but sketches in just enough to give make her fiction vividly alive.  The way she writes her characaters, it's like looking into a portrait from years ago, and you stare into it enough and manage to touch the soul of the person staring back at you.  She manages to capture that somehow, and put onto the page.  Somehow, she to packs a lot of thought into something that reads as lightly as a feather.

So you go, Geraldine Brooks!  As for the rest of you....Christ, look at the time.  Goodnight.