I'm in a tough spot.
The St. Mark Bookclub is on hiatus for the summer, but we all chose to read The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt, the book that apparently everyone is talking about (even though no one outside of my bookclub is talking about it). It's a long book, but we had the whole summer to read it. True to to form I only started it today.
I didn't procastinate: here's what happened.
Every year I go head to head with my dad and my brother in the annual English Premier League Marickovich Family Throwdown. Last year was the first year of the new format where we each pick four teams from different strata in the league (the best, the okay, the steady mid-table teams, the ones hoping to avoid relegation), and whomever selects the four teams that perfrom the best overall during the season in the standings wins the prize. The prize: each of the losers have to buy the winner a book (no first editions or rare books).
One of the books I selected was The Goldfinch.
Before I continue just let me say that I usually got nothing bad to say about the Post Office. My grandfather worked for the Post Office, and he and thousands upon thousands of good men and women day in and day out work hard to deliver your coopins, your magazines, your bills. And they are usually pretty good about shipping Amazon's stuff pretty quickly, even at standard shipping speeds, because as we all know Amazon has a fulfillment center near you.
Well, my book started in Freemont California on the 10th. Old Postmaster Frankleton put it in his saddlebag and he proceeded to schlep it at a modest rate across the country, stopping for pee and coffee breaks in every small town and hamlet on the way. Finally, today, after a harrowing 19 day journey, it arrived on my doorstep.
So I have about a month to read....864 pages. It really starts on page 5 so there are actually 859 pages. The print is small, the lines are single spaced. Books like this have taken me 6 months to read. In addition, my understanding is that the novel is Dickensian in a modern sort of way, which sounds great except that my track record with Dickens isn't great, I've only finished about 40% of the Dickens novels I have started.
It's so long that I am worried that I'm forget what I've read. So instead of taking notes I'm going to blog about it, and subject the world to one modest man's thoughts on this year's Pulitzer Prize winner.
I can't promise you expert analysis. I can promise you spoilers. Follow along if you dare. Or if you care.
The cards are stacked against me. But I've got to do it if I am actually going to go to bookclub and do more than stuff my face with cheese and fall asleep on the couch.
Thursday, July 31, 2014
Tuesday, July 29, 2014
Scene 42
So let me set the scene: The family (NICK, TRISH, ELIZABETH (age 5), ROSALYN (age 6 months) are driving in the family station on the way to dinner at Chic-Fil-A and then an evening of running errands. TRISH is clipping coupons. NICK is driving. ROSALYN is quietly yet desperately fighting against an afternoon nap that is slowly getting the better of her.
ELIZABETH: Can I have some coupons please? I want to look at them
TRISH: Sure. [TRISH passes the coupons back to ELIZABETH]
There is silence in the car for a moment as ELIZABETH flips idly through the coupons and kicks her little feet back and forth.
ELIZABETH: What are we here for?
TRISH: What?
NICK: Do you mean why are we here? Like why we are here on Earth?
ELIZABETH: Yes.
TRISH (muttering under her breath): 42.
NICK: Well, I think Pastor Laine would say that we are here to glorify God as best we can in all we do. That's the best answer I can think of.
ELIZABETH (suddenly turns the coupons page and holds it up in sudden excitement): Oh my gosh, girlie things! Oh those shoes are so cute! And look at that shirt, it's blue!
NICK (aside to TRISH): I'm sure there is a message in all of this. But I'm not sure what it is.
ELIZABETH: Can I have some coupons please? I want to look at them
TRISH: Sure. [TRISH passes the coupons back to ELIZABETH]
There is silence in the car for a moment as ELIZABETH flips idly through the coupons and kicks her little feet back and forth.
ELIZABETH: What are we here for?
TRISH: What?
NICK: Do you mean why are we here? Like why we are here on Earth?
ELIZABETH: Yes.
TRISH (muttering under her breath): 42.
NICK: Well, I think Pastor Laine would say that we are here to glorify God as best we can in all we do. That's the best answer I can think of.
ELIZABETH (suddenly turns the coupons page and holds it up in sudden excitement): Oh my gosh, girlie things! Oh those shoes are so cute! And look at that shirt, it's blue!
NICK (aside to TRISH): I'm sure there is a message in all of this. But I'm not sure what it is.
Wednesday, July 23, 2014
Are We Still Talking About Tony Dungy?
Apparently I am about to.
Look, for the two past drives into work I have had to listen to Mike and Mike come kind of close to hauling Tony Dungy out into the street and calling him a bigot for his comments on Michael Sam that were printed in The Tampa Tribune. Even after Dungy clarified comments Mike Greenburg in particular was still astounded that Dungy could decide not to pick a player due to the "distractions" his sexual orientation would cause.
Greenburg's thinking is that Dungy's comments are inconsistent coming from a man who himself broke through barriers of prejudice, being one of the first (if not the first?) African-American coaches in the NFL.
I suppose I don't disagree that it seems ethically inconsistent that one who owes success in part to the civil rights movements of the 50's and 60's would deny someone front and center in the civil rights movement of our day their chance to....well, their chance to play a game...all because they are worried about the distractions that that would cause for the team. And we all know how NFL coaches hate those damn distractions; maybe if Payton Manning hadn't spent so much time making Oreo cookie commercials, he might have won a few more Super Bowls. Still might, if his neck holds up.
But as I listen to the outrage over Dungy's comments, read the print wasted on all of this, I ask myself: who cares?
It's not like Dungy's comments were particularly vicious. He never says that Sam's sexual orientation should keep him from playing football. His inclination not to pick Sam because of the distractions having the first openly gay player in the NFL on the team perhaps lacks a bit of courage, but I don't think it's something he should be keel-hauled for. It's his opinion. He's entitled to it.
In all honesty, I am not so sure I totally disagree with Dungy anyway. If I was drafting players and I had to consider Michael Sam, I'd probably think long and hard about it myself. There WILL be distractions, as much as the media derides that excuse, because the media will create those distractions. Heck, only this week the OWN network shelved plans to do a documentary about Sam's first season in the NFL. If I'm an NFL coach, I am not sure I want the likes of Oprah Winfrey traipsing around my locker room, telling all my beautiful boys with their precious bodily fluids that "You are not here to shrink down to less, but to blossom more into who you really are" or to "Live from the heart of yourself. Seek to be whole, not perfect."
No! No, goddammit no! We must be perfect! If that tackle doesn't pick up his blocker perfectly during play Blue 57 there is no way the QB will have the time for the tight end to break free from his man after confusing him with a little bit of the old chug-a-chug jukie-juke? How can we expect to give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle if we don't execute perfectly? We aim for perfection. We strive for perfection. We embody perfection! It's what the NFL is all about.
And when we aren't perfect I don't get Oprah Winfrey to give you a hug and tell you how special you are. Fuck no! I get coach Bibbido Tibbideau to yell at you in unintelligible creole with breath that reeks of bourbon and tobacco, obliterating all those voices from your mind so that in a semi-thoughtless state you will be able to focus on that one thing that matters most: Giving those motherfuckers on the opposing team the OL BLEEPITY BLEEPIN' RAZZLE DAZZLE!!
What were we talking about?
Ah yes.
Here is a question: What if Michael Sam isn't very good in the NFL? True, co-SEC defensive player of the year and all that, but how many Heisman winners have we had that didn't have sterling NFL careers? There is going to be immense pressure on any coach with Sam to play him, even if he isn't any good. And if you cut him? Get ready to be called a bigot, or worse. If I were a coach, THAT is the distraction I wouldn't want hanging over my head, in addition to the whole Oprah Winfrey thing.
Look, if it was Jadeveon Clowney who was openly gay it's a no brainer - the man is worth any distractions that his sexual orientation may bring about, and it goes without saying that all of this would be easier if Sam was more of a lock. Jackie Robinson wasn't only black, he was really really good at playing baseball. You'd be stupid not to have him on your team. Still, it took A LOT of downright bravery in 1947 to put him on your club; I think if Sam was to football what Jackie Robinson was to baseball, his selection to the NFL today wouldn't require nearly as much courage. It would be easy, and most of us would celebrate and those that didn't agree would probably just keep their mouths shut. But with Sam maybe riding the bench, the media is going to demand that he get his chance, even if he isn't good enough to get that chance.
If Tony Dungy doesn't have the courage to draft a marginal player because he doesn't think its worth the media distraction that's his opinion, and I think it's understandable. It doesn't make him a bigot, and I don't think it makes him a coward either. It makes him a football coach, who when he does the calculus doesn't think the payoff will be worth the price. I hope I would make the opposite decision in the name of social change, but I can't say that I would if I was in a coach's position, and my job depended not on breaking barriers but on winning football games.
Fortunately Sam does have his chance, he has been drafted. He has the chance to show that he's worth it and prove to the real bigots and cowards who have been fairly silent that gay men have a place in the NFL, have the right to pursue that dream just as much as anyone else, just as other members of the LGBT community have a place in our society today, have the right to pursue their dreams, their life, their happiness, as anyone else in our Happy Republic would.
Good luck, Mr. Sam.
Look, for the two past drives into work I have had to listen to Mike and Mike come kind of close to hauling Tony Dungy out into the street and calling him a bigot for his comments on Michael Sam that were printed in The Tampa Tribune. Even after Dungy clarified comments Mike Greenburg in particular was still astounded that Dungy could decide not to pick a player due to the "distractions" his sexual orientation would cause.
Greenburg's thinking is that Dungy's comments are inconsistent coming from a man who himself broke through barriers of prejudice, being one of the first (if not the first?) African-American coaches in the NFL.
I suppose I don't disagree that it seems ethically inconsistent that one who owes success in part to the civil rights movements of the 50's and 60's would deny someone front and center in the civil rights movement of our day their chance to....well, their chance to play a game...all because they are worried about the distractions that that would cause for the team. And we all know how NFL coaches hate those damn distractions; maybe if Payton Manning hadn't spent so much time making Oreo cookie commercials, he might have won a few more Super Bowls. Still might, if his neck holds up.
But as I listen to the outrage over Dungy's comments, read the print wasted on all of this, I ask myself: who cares?
It's not like Dungy's comments were particularly vicious. He never says that Sam's sexual orientation should keep him from playing football. His inclination not to pick Sam because of the distractions having the first openly gay player in the NFL on the team perhaps lacks a bit of courage, but I don't think it's something he should be keel-hauled for. It's his opinion. He's entitled to it.
In all honesty, I am not so sure I totally disagree with Dungy anyway. If I was drafting players and I had to consider Michael Sam, I'd probably think long and hard about it myself. There WILL be distractions, as much as the media derides that excuse, because the media will create those distractions. Heck, only this week the OWN network shelved plans to do a documentary about Sam's first season in the NFL. If I'm an NFL coach, I am not sure I want the likes of Oprah Winfrey traipsing around my locker room, telling all my beautiful boys with their precious bodily fluids that "You are not here to shrink down to less, but to blossom more into who you really are" or to "Live from the heart of yourself. Seek to be whole, not perfect."
No! No, goddammit no! We must be perfect! If that tackle doesn't pick up his blocker perfectly during play Blue 57 there is no way the QB will have the time for the tight end to break free from his man after confusing him with a little bit of the old chug-a-chug jukie-juke? How can we expect to give 'em the ol' razzle dazzle if we don't execute perfectly? We aim for perfection. We strive for perfection. We embody perfection! It's what the NFL is all about.
And when we aren't perfect I don't get Oprah Winfrey to give you a hug and tell you how special you are. Fuck no! I get coach Bibbido Tibbideau to yell at you in unintelligible creole with breath that reeks of bourbon and tobacco, obliterating all those voices from your mind so that in a semi-thoughtless state you will be able to focus on that one thing that matters most: Giving those motherfuckers on the opposing team the OL BLEEPITY BLEEPIN' RAZZLE DAZZLE!!
What were we talking about?
Ah yes.
Here is a question: What if Michael Sam isn't very good in the NFL? True, co-SEC defensive player of the year and all that, but how many Heisman winners have we had that didn't have sterling NFL careers? There is going to be immense pressure on any coach with Sam to play him, even if he isn't any good. And if you cut him? Get ready to be called a bigot, or worse. If I were a coach, THAT is the distraction I wouldn't want hanging over my head, in addition to the whole Oprah Winfrey thing.
Look, if it was Jadeveon Clowney who was openly gay it's a no brainer - the man is worth any distractions that his sexual orientation may bring about, and it goes without saying that all of this would be easier if Sam was more of a lock. Jackie Robinson wasn't only black, he was really really good at playing baseball. You'd be stupid not to have him on your team. Still, it took A LOT of downright bravery in 1947 to put him on your club; I think if Sam was to football what Jackie Robinson was to baseball, his selection to the NFL today wouldn't require nearly as much courage. It would be easy, and most of us would celebrate and those that didn't agree would probably just keep their mouths shut. But with Sam maybe riding the bench, the media is going to demand that he get his chance, even if he isn't good enough to get that chance.
If Tony Dungy doesn't have the courage to draft a marginal player because he doesn't think its worth the media distraction that's his opinion, and I think it's understandable. It doesn't make him a bigot, and I don't think it makes him a coward either. It makes him a football coach, who when he does the calculus doesn't think the payoff will be worth the price. I hope I would make the opposite decision in the name of social change, but I can't say that I would if I was in a coach's position, and my job depended not on breaking barriers but on winning football games.
Fortunately Sam does have his chance, he has been drafted. He has the chance to show that he's worth it and prove to the real bigots and cowards who have been fairly silent that gay men have a place in the NFL, have the right to pursue that dream just as much as anyone else, just as other members of the LGBT community have a place in our society today, have the right to pursue their dreams, their life, their happiness, as anyone else in our Happy Republic would.
Good luck, Mr. Sam.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)