Tuesday, August 14, 2012

On the Price of One Man's Vote

Hey Mitt:

My name is Nicholas Marickovich, and I work at Newport News Shipbuilding, where we build some of the largest and finest pieces of military hardware the world has ever seen.  Sometimes on time, sometimes on budget, but always good ships.

Even though I am a defense worker, and a vote for you is surely in my best interest, I am not intending to vote for you in November.  While I have to admit I am disappointed in Obama's leadership style and I think the tone of his campaign has been rather awful, even in comparison to yours, I have to admit that I tend to align myself more with his policies than with yours.

In addition, with all apologies, I don't believe that running a business qualifies you to be president.  The USA is not a business, but rather a country, and macroeconomics is not microeconomics.  I understand that being a community organizer doesn't qualify you either, but you have to admit that your opponent has a jump in you in years on the job.  It's a shame that you can't run on your record as being governor of the great state of Massachusetts because of, well, the whole healthcare thing.  But, you win some, you lose some, right?

However, if you really think my single vote is going to take you over the hump, there is still one way you can win my vote.

Mr. Romney (or should I say, Governor Romney):  If you meet me at the 46th street gate at NNS shipbuilding one fine morning, introduce yourself, shake my hand, and give me a doughnut, then I will vote for you.  And I don't want the doughnut to come from money donated by Adelson or anything like that.  I want you to open that wallet of yours, go down to the Krispy Kreme, and buy me a doughnute (note the silent "e" - I imagine that anyone who makes over $250,000 a year probably spells it this way) with Bavarian Cream filling.   And it can't be one of those day old fund raising doughnuts either.  Its got to be the genuine article, from the shop on Mercury Boulevard.

Now, I get to work early, hitting the gate around 6:20 AM.  It will be tempting to send an aid or even the presumptive VP, Paul Ryan (masterful goal, by the way), in your stead.  Do not do it.  I want to know that even if I can't take you to the bar after work to buy you a beer, you are still going to be waking up with me everyday to head to the trenches with your hard hat in hand and your cigarettes in your shirt pocket, at least in spirit.  Kind of.  Sort of.  Maybe.

Bonus points if the filling is still warm.  I'll vote for Cuccinelli or something like that.

Ugh.  No.  I could never do that.  Not for just meeting you and a warm doughnut.  Not for all the cream in Bavaria.  But if, say, Anne Hathaway met me at the 46th street gate with a dozen warm doughnuts (again, not of fund raiser quality), well, then we could talk.  No guarantees.  If she was naked, or even mostly naked, that may help sway my decision, but still won't necessarily carry the day in Mr.Cuccinelli's favor. 

V/R, Best of Luck, Etc. Etc. Etc.

Nick Marickovich
MFWIC, Philanthropist, Man of the People
NNS Shipbuilding & Drydock Co.






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