Hey! It's me! I'm back! This is, the central, scrutinizer.
And there, folks, is a Frank Zappa reference to start off the new year. If you have ever read any of these posts and said "Holy Frijoles where does this guy get this stuff" listening to a little bit of Zappa may provide a starting point that in unraveling the glorious knot of bullshit spewing synapses that have stitched themselves together in my skull.
To my 12 regular readers (whom I love), I am sorry for not writing for so long. I was gone for much of the December holiday season on business. My 12 readers also know that I am reluctant to talk about what I do for a living (rest assured, its not blogging), but I will say I was on a US Navy ship over the holidays. Having a military Christmas is an interesting thing...I'm not so naive to think that if everybody had to spend one Christmas away from their family in the middle of the ocean than everyone's eyes would be opened and all wars would cease. But it does give one some empathy for the sacrifices that so few of us have endured for so many for so long. I won't soon forget it.
I will also say that my company decided to send me and the rest of the team home flying first class, and I have never felt so awkward.
You see, one of the small, self-righteous joys I allow myself to is to silently curse at all the rich people sitting comfortably in first class while I struggle my way back into the smelly, cramped confines of coach with the rest of the normal people. But my company, in a moment of clarity, decided that it would be rather dickish to force upon people who had just spent Christmas away from their families the additional misery of being cramped in steerage for the 17 hour flight from Tokyo to Atlanta.
No one should be allowed to travel like we did. Instead of having to wait at the gate, I got to sit in a nice lounge with free booze. My seat on the flight from Guam to Tokyo fully reclined, it had a foot rest, and I had my own TV with many, many options for things to watch and listen to; my seat from Tokyo to Atlanta was not so much as a seat as a small pod in which I could lay down and not have to have contact with another human soul. In both cases we were given complimentary champagne before we had even taken off, and I could only imagine what the people trudging on the plane and making their way back to coach thought of us as we sat there in our large, comfortable seats, swilling champagne. I felt like demanding a top hat and a monocle to make the experience more complete (and I'll bet you 10 to 1 they have some somewhere in the back).
I returned to America on New Year's Eve. I have the good fortune to now travel outside the country three times and its always a bit of a jolt to return to America; every time I go through customs I feel like a herded cow going through the stocks, being led along by brusque cowboys in blue uniforms. I never get that sense when I go through customs elsewhere, but maybe it is just an illusion that the cancer of progressivism has placed in my poisoned mind.
I had an additional shock when I saw that the Iowa Caucus was but a few short days away, and I remembered that 2012 is an election year. So much for a happy new year.
I was hoping that Mitt would deliver a knock-out blow in South Carolina, but this was no to be, as he got sucker punched by the Iowa re-count and a re-re-resurgent Newt Gingrich (he's like that Russian dude in Snatch. No matter how many times you shoot him, he just won't die.). This is a shame, because not only does it mean that the republican candidate most likely to snatch my vote away from Obama now may not win the nomination (which would make the rest of this year much less interesting for me politically), but now the race is going to drag on, meaning a shorter respite from the primaries and the national campaign "season".
The race is on!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Saturday, December 3, 2011
A Day for Redemption
A note to readers: If the quality of this post suffers, its because I am watching the Newcastle-Chelsea game. It has been an incredibly awesome game, and I don't even know why I am trying to write while its on. But, there you go.
Well, on October 1, I wrote this little doosey of a sports prediction:
"So, the final analysis: I think, as the line suggests, it will be a very close, very exciting encounter. But I think the intangibles will carry the Hokies, 24-14. A strong defense, and an electric atmosphere, carry the day".
The result, you may remember, was embarrassing. So embarrassing that, as my 10 normal readers may have noticed, I haven't talked about it since.
But things have changed. Clemson seemed to reach their zenith against the Hokies, started going a little wobbly, and finally lost....a number of games. 3 of their last 4? Something like that. And that, friends, is the kind of crack sports analysis you have come to expect from this Communist rag of a blog. I know its why you keep coming back for more.
Meanwhile, the Hokies have been resurgent, which seems par for the course. It is Frank Beamer's best coaching season ever (again), as he has taken a side that was all but eviscerated at home by the Tigers and guided the team with loving and benevolent hands to a 11-1 record, a chance to be ACC champions again, and a real shot at getting that second BCS bowl win that would finally make Frank Beamer eligible that free Sub at Sub Station II which he has been after for so long.
I think Frank Beamer should have been made ACC coach of the year. I mean, think of it...there the Hokie Nation was, stained by the most inglorious defeat suffered on home soil in a very, very long time. We just looked at each other and said, in hushed voices, that maybe it was time to withdrawal all of our money from the bank, send the children to Aunt Anne's house to get them out of the City, pack up the smoked turkey legs and beer, and head for the hills. We hadn't expected to be in the national title hunt, but our undefeated start had once again inflated our expectations; expectations that had been utterly shattered.
But while the rest of us were running around with wheelbarrels full of Deutschmarks and rushing to the Kroger for milk, bread, and eggs? There stands Frank Beamer, like a stone wall, Churchillian in stature, refusing to give up. He looked at us with love, but he spared us no pity. He gathered his broken team together while the very fabric of life was crumbling about him and he said:
"Lads, that is not good enough! We must score two touchdowns to their one. You want to see our fans dressed in shirts and ties at our matches?"
"NO!"
"Do you want to call that raggedy ass wine swilling woman hating Thomas Jefferson your King?!"
"NO!"
"Do you want your Children to sing 'The Good ole Song'?!"
"NO!"
"Well then let's get out there and fight!!"
"GAAAARRR!!"
And wouldn't you know it? The Hokies win seven straight, and actually do end up having an outside chance of getting into that national title game (which, of course, they would have freaking won). Things may have certainly not panned out for them there (Auburn had to beat Alabama, QPR had to crush Eastern Middbleburrytown, and Sarah Palin had to wake up one morning and say "You know what? I think raising taxes on the wealthiest 1% of Americans may not be such a bad idea after all", and some other stuff had to happen as well). But something more important has happened here. Frank....he just.....he gave us the freedom to dream again.
We were like jaded children who don't believe in Christmas anymore, and Frank is the reclusive old man who teaches us that miracles are still possible.
So. Go Hokies. Gobble. Gobble. A-Gobble-gobble-gobble.
Okay. Now that is done. I can watch the second half of the Chelsea Newcastle game in peace.
Credits: The "dialogue" with Frank and his team is a ripoff from Master and Commander, the Far Side of the World, which is one of my favorite films. I don't remember a similar dialogue in the books though....
And the part where I say "We were like jaded children who don't believe in Christmas anymore, and Frank is the reclusive old man who teaches us that miracles are still possible" is taken almost straight out of Tina Fey's book Bossypants. It was something she used to describe her ever changing relationship with Lorne Michaels, and it was so funny I laughed out loud (I LOLed, for those of you born after 1995) at my desk during lunch and everyone wondered what crazy fucked up thing I was am eating this time. I could have never have come up with that, and that is why Torres just hasn't panned out as a striker for Chelsea.
Well, on October 1, I wrote this little doosey of a sports prediction:
"So, the final analysis: I think, as the line suggests, it will be a very close, very exciting encounter. But I think the intangibles will carry the Hokies, 24-14. A strong defense, and an electric atmosphere, carry the day".
The result, you may remember, was embarrassing. So embarrassing that, as my 10 normal readers may have noticed, I haven't talked about it since.
But things have changed. Clemson seemed to reach their zenith against the Hokies, started going a little wobbly, and finally lost....a number of games. 3 of their last 4? Something like that. And that, friends, is the kind of crack sports analysis you have come to expect from this Communist rag of a blog. I know its why you keep coming back for more.
Meanwhile, the Hokies have been resurgent, which seems par for the course. It is Frank Beamer's best coaching season ever (again), as he has taken a side that was all but eviscerated at home by the Tigers and guided the team with loving and benevolent hands to a 11-1 record, a chance to be ACC champions again, and a real shot at getting that second BCS bowl win that would finally make Frank Beamer eligible that free Sub at Sub Station II which he has been after for so long.
I think Frank Beamer should have been made ACC coach of the year. I mean, think of it...there the Hokie Nation was, stained by the most inglorious defeat suffered on home soil in a very, very long time. We just looked at each other and said, in hushed voices, that maybe it was time to withdrawal all of our money from the bank, send the children to Aunt Anne's house to get them out of the City, pack up the smoked turkey legs and beer, and head for the hills. We hadn't expected to be in the national title hunt, but our undefeated start had once again inflated our expectations; expectations that had been utterly shattered.
But while the rest of us were running around with wheelbarrels full of Deutschmarks and rushing to the Kroger for milk, bread, and eggs? There stands Frank Beamer, like a stone wall, Churchillian in stature, refusing to give up. He looked at us with love, but he spared us no pity. He gathered his broken team together while the very fabric of life was crumbling about him and he said:
"Lads, that is not good enough! We must score two touchdowns to their one. You want to see our fans dressed in shirts and ties at our matches?"
"NO!"
"Do you want to call that raggedy ass wine swilling woman hating Thomas Jefferson your King?!"
"NO!"
"Do you want your Children to sing 'The Good ole Song'?!"
"NO!"
"Well then let's get out there and fight!!"
"GAAAARRR!!"
And wouldn't you know it? The Hokies win seven straight, and actually do end up having an outside chance of getting into that national title game (which, of course, they would have freaking won). Things may have certainly not panned out for them there (Auburn had to beat Alabama, QPR had to crush Eastern Middbleburrytown, and Sarah Palin had to wake up one morning and say "You know what? I think raising taxes on the wealthiest 1% of Americans may not be such a bad idea after all", and some other stuff had to happen as well). But something more important has happened here. Frank....he just.....he gave us the freedom to dream again.
We were like jaded children who don't believe in Christmas anymore, and Frank is the reclusive old man who teaches us that miracles are still possible.
So. Go Hokies. Gobble. Gobble. A-Gobble-gobble-gobble.
Okay. Now that is done. I can watch the second half of the Chelsea Newcastle game in peace.
Credits: The "dialogue" with Frank and his team is a ripoff from Master and Commander, the Far Side of the World, which is one of my favorite films. I don't remember a similar dialogue in the books though....
And the part where I say "We were like jaded children who don't believe in Christmas anymore, and Frank is the reclusive old man who teaches us that miracles are still possible" is taken almost straight out of Tina Fey's book Bossypants. It was something she used to describe her ever changing relationship with Lorne Michaels, and it was so funny I laughed out loud (I LOLed, for those of you born after 1995) at my desk during lunch and everyone wondered what crazy fucked up thing I was am eating this time. I could have never have come up with that, and that is why Torres just hasn't panned out as a striker for Chelsea.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Disperse, ye Rebels, or Santa shall leave Taxes in your Christmas Stockings! Boo! Taxes! Hiss!
Yes, yes, I know this is a blog post that is a couple of weeks late. The Empire has struck back, the protesters have been evicted from their spiritual home of Zuccoti Park, and the media has turned its focus to more serious matters like the latest round of unrest in Egypt and whether or not Kensington Palace is cursed. Beware, Kate Middleton....there be ghosts.
I haven't commented about the recent protesters because my feelings on them are rather conflicted. Half of me can't help but agree with those cold hearted folks who are just calling them a bunch of bums who would be best served by going home, getting a shower, getting a haircut, and getting a job. Oh? You can't get a job because you spent 6 years at Bernard studying Malaysian poetry? Sorry. Perhaps you should have majored in finance. How are your burger flipping skills?
But on the other hand I can see (and share in) the frustration. The failed debt deal this past week is a case in point. The Republicans may have their reasons for being so inflexible on tax increases, they may be perfectly good and they may indeed go further than a simple piece of paper someone shoved in front of them. But when the debt deal failed in part because the Republicans were unwilling to raise revenues in anyway, it certainly looked like they were going to the mat for the wealthiest 1% of Americans and regarding the remaining 99% with a cold shrug of the shoulders. How can you not feel disenfranchised by this? Taking to the streets and voicing outrage would seem to me a perfectly legitimate response.
We have a government that seems to have lost the ability to steer our nation on any kind of course.
The thing that makes this so frustrating to me is that what the Republicans are setting bayonets for doesn't seem to be worth such a desperate fight to save. The Democrats want some of the Bush Tax Cuts to expire (I would rather they all expire, personally). I had hoped to find a source out there that said if we just let the tax cuts expire, our fiscal woes would be solved, but that turned out not to be the case as a 2010 Congressional Research Report argues. Page 11 shows that under 2010 projections the overall debt to GDP ratio would only be a few percentage points less if all the tax cuts expire, and that the overall ratio would continue to increase (though I do not know how they are projecting GDP....) on a rather unsustainable path.
You may use this to argue that if it makes so little difference there is no point in letting the tax cuts expire. But I would argue that a sensible Republican Senator or Representative might say if there is no real difference, he or she would use that as a bargaining chip to gain some of the cuts to government programs that actually would make a difference over time. Yes, there may be some people ranging from the pretty well off to the totally stinking rich who will grumble over the fact that their income taxes have gone up a few percentage points, but I doubt the increase will be exceedingly painful for them. My take on it is that a rise on taxes on the wealthy, while painful, does not stand up against the pain others will suffer if vital social programs which might be protected by an increase in revenues are cut.
But I think its good politics as well. I'm sorry if you make Grover Norquist and Rush Limbaugh angry (though I really wouldn't be that sorry), but the rest of us would be happy to see a little justice, and shared sacrifice, even if it isn't really. Just the sense that we are being governed again (even if we really aren't being governed very well) I think would ease our troubled minds and maybe give us the confidence boost we need to go out and finally get that tattoo, motorcycle, or boob job we have thinking about getting for so long now. You only live once, afterall.
All kidding aside, my point is this: The Oath of Office should take precedent over any piece of paper that a lobbyist told someone to sign, or any promise that was made on the campaign trail. The faithful and sober governance of this nation should be more important than party politics and making Obama a one term president, especially in these difficult days where we are looking at a rapidly changing world and staring down the barrel of our own impending fiscal crisis. It is not up to the Republicans to decide on Obama's next term, it is up to the American People when they go to vote next November. Getting a president out of office should not be the platform of the opposing party. The platform should be to govern.
Now, you may feel that I am being hard on Republicans. I apologize for this (though I do feel that finding a sensible Republican in Congress is about as elusive as a 1963 Joe Schlabotnik baseball card), but it's quite obvious to me that they are driving the bus and setting the agenda, which is about as damning an indictment of Barack Obama and the Democratic Party that I can give. I give Obama pretty good marks on foreign policy (though I give them with some unease), but I think he's proven to be a pretty poor leader in general. But like the old saying goes: good salesmen rarely make good generals, even if you give him a shiny hat and new boots.
And like the other old saying goes: Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like attending a rally of the Bah Humbug! Glorification Society. Last year I won the look Ebeneezer Scrooge look alike contest and talent show, and I must defend my crown. GGMM, where did I leave that dang blasted top hat?
I haven't commented about the recent protesters because my feelings on them are rather conflicted. Half of me can't help but agree with those cold hearted folks who are just calling them a bunch of bums who would be best served by going home, getting a shower, getting a haircut, and getting a job. Oh? You can't get a job because you spent 6 years at Bernard studying Malaysian poetry? Sorry. Perhaps you should have majored in finance. How are your burger flipping skills?
But on the other hand I can see (and share in) the frustration. The failed debt deal this past week is a case in point. The Republicans may have their reasons for being so inflexible on tax increases, they may be perfectly good and they may indeed go further than a simple piece of paper someone shoved in front of them. But when the debt deal failed in part because the Republicans were unwilling to raise revenues in anyway, it certainly looked like they were going to the mat for the wealthiest 1% of Americans and regarding the remaining 99% with a cold shrug of the shoulders. How can you not feel disenfranchised by this? Taking to the streets and voicing outrage would seem to me a perfectly legitimate response.
We have a government that seems to have lost the ability to steer our nation on any kind of course.
The thing that makes this so frustrating to me is that what the Republicans are setting bayonets for doesn't seem to be worth such a desperate fight to save. The Democrats want some of the Bush Tax Cuts to expire (I would rather they all expire, personally). I had hoped to find a source out there that said if we just let the tax cuts expire, our fiscal woes would be solved, but that turned out not to be the case as a 2010 Congressional Research Report argues. Page 11 shows that under 2010 projections the overall debt to GDP ratio would only be a few percentage points less if all the tax cuts expire, and that the overall ratio would continue to increase (though I do not know how they are projecting GDP....) on a rather unsustainable path.
You may use this to argue that if it makes so little difference there is no point in letting the tax cuts expire. But I would argue that a sensible Republican Senator or Representative might say if there is no real difference, he or she would use that as a bargaining chip to gain some of the cuts to government programs that actually would make a difference over time. Yes, there may be some people ranging from the pretty well off to the totally stinking rich who will grumble over the fact that their income taxes have gone up a few percentage points, but I doubt the increase will be exceedingly painful for them. My take on it is that a rise on taxes on the wealthy, while painful, does not stand up against the pain others will suffer if vital social programs which might be protected by an increase in revenues are cut.
But I think its good politics as well. I'm sorry if you make Grover Norquist and Rush Limbaugh angry (though I really wouldn't be that sorry), but the rest of us would be happy to see a little justice, and shared sacrifice, even if it isn't really. Just the sense that we are being governed again (even if we really aren't being governed very well) I think would ease our troubled minds and maybe give us the confidence boost we need to go out and finally get that tattoo, motorcycle, or boob job we have thinking about getting for so long now. You only live once, afterall.
All kidding aside, my point is this: The Oath of Office should take precedent over any piece of paper that a lobbyist told someone to sign, or any promise that was made on the campaign trail. The faithful and sober governance of this nation should be more important than party politics and making Obama a one term president, especially in these difficult days where we are looking at a rapidly changing world and staring down the barrel of our own impending fiscal crisis. It is not up to the Republicans to decide on Obama's next term, it is up to the American People when they go to vote next November. Getting a president out of office should not be the platform of the opposing party. The platform should be to govern.
Now, you may feel that I am being hard on Republicans. I apologize for this (though I do feel that finding a sensible Republican in Congress is about as elusive as a 1963 Joe Schlabotnik baseball card), but it's quite obvious to me that they are driving the bus and setting the agenda, which is about as damning an indictment of Barack Obama and the Democratic Party that I can give. I give Obama pretty good marks on foreign policy (though I give them with some unease), but I think he's proven to be a pretty poor leader in general. But like the old saying goes: good salesmen rarely make good generals, even if you give him a shiny hat and new boots.
And like the other old saying goes: Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like attending a rally of the Bah Humbug! Glorification Society. Last year I won the look Ebeneezer Scrooge look alike contest and talent show, and I must defend my crown. GGMM, where did I leave that dang blasted top hat?
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