Saturday, December 3, 2011

A Day for Redemption

A note to readers:  If the quality of this post suffers, its because I am watching the Newcastle-Chelsea game.  It has been an incredibly awesome game, and I don't even know why I am trying to write while its on.  But, there you go. 

Well, on October 1, I wrote this little doosey of a sports prediction:

"So, the final analysis:  I think, as the line suggests, it will be a very close, very exciting encounter.  But I think the intangibles will carry the Hokies, 24-14.  A strong defense, and an electric atmosphere, carry the day".

The result, you may remember, was embarrassing.  So embarrassing that, as my 10 normal readers may have noticed, I haven't talked about it since. 

But things have changed.  Clemson seemed to reach their zenith against the Hokies, started going a little wobbly, and finally lost....a number of games.   3 of their last 4?  Something like that.  And that, friends, is the kind of crack sports analysis you have come to expect from this Communist rag of a blog.  I know its why you keep coming back for more. 

Meanwhile, the Hokies have been resurgent, which seems par for the course.  It is Frank Beamer's best coaching season ever (again), as he has taken a side that was all but eviscerated at home by the Tigers and guided the team with loving and benevolent hands to a 11-1 record, a chance to be ACC champions again, and a real shot at getting that second BCS bowl win that would finally make Frank Beamer eligible that free Sub at Sub Station II which he has been after for so long.

I think Frank Beamer should have been made ACC coach of the year.  I mean, think of it...there the Hokie Nation was, stained by the most inglorious defeat suffered on home soil in a very, very long time.  We just looked at each other and said, in hushed voices, that maybe it was time to withdrawal all of our money from the bank, send the children to Aunt Anne's house to get them out of the City, pack up the smoked turkey legs and beer, and head for the hills.  We hadn't expected to be in the national title hunt, but our undefeated start had once again inflated our expectations; expectations that had been utterly shattered.

But while the rest of us were running around with wheelbarrels full of Deutschmarks and rushing to the Kroger for milk, bread, and eggs?  There stands Frank Beamer, like a stone wall, Churchillian in stature, refusing to give up.  He looked at us with love, but he spared us no pity.  He gathered his broken team together while the very fabric of life was crumbling about him and he said:

"Lads, that is not good enough!  We must score two touchdowns to their one.  You want to see our fans dressed in shirts and ties at our matches?"

"NO!"

"Do you want to call that raggedy ass wine swilling woman hating Thomas Jefferson your King?!"

"NO!"

"Do you want your Children to sing 'The Good ole Song'?!"

"NO!"

"Well then let's get out there and fight!!"

"GAAAARRR!!"

And wouldn't you know it?  The Hokies win seven straight, and actually do end up having an outside chance of getting into that national title game (which, of course, they would have freaking won).   Things may have certainly not panned out for them there (Auburn had to beat Alabama, QPR had to crush Eastern Middbleburrytown, and Sarah Palin had to wake up one morning and say "You know what?  I think raising taxes on the wealthiest 1% of Americans may not be such a bad idea after all", and some other stuff had to happen as well). But something more important has happened here.  Frank....he just.....he gave us the freedom to dream again. 

We were like jaded children who don't believe in Christmas anymore, and Frank is the reclusive old man who teaches us that miracles are still possible. 

So.  Go Hokies.  Gobble.  Gobble.  A-Gobble-gobble-gobble. 

Okay.  Now that is done.  I can watch the second half of the Chelsea Newcastle game in peace. 

Credits:  The "dialogue" with Frank and his team is a ripoff from Master and Commander, the Far Side of the World, which is one of my favorite films.  I don't remember a similar dialogue in the books though....

And the part where I say "We were like jaded children who don't believe in Christmas anymore, and Frank is the reclusive old man who teaches us that miracles are still possible" is taken almost straight out of Tina Fey's book Bossypants.  It was something she used to describe her ever changing relationship with Lorne Michaels, and it was so funny I laughed out loud (I LOLed, for those of you born after 1995) at my desk during lunch and everyone wondered what crazy fucked up thing I was am eating this time.  I could have never have come up with that, and that is why Torres just hasn't panned out as a striker for Chelsea.   

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