In which Hillary Clinton Eats a Burrito Bowl

Listen:  

This past Sunday two women walked into a Chipotle while they were on her way to Iowa.  They ordered a chicken burrito bowl, a chicken salad, a soda, and a blackberry Izze.  The bill was $20.  They paid $21.  They pocketed the change.  Maybe they did it because they are stingy bitches.  Maybe they did it because the people behind the counter were not particularly prompt with the construction of their lunches.  Maybe they were angry to find out that the carnitas they had been dreaming about for miles were off the menu due shortages of pigs who, if not necessarily happy to be raised for the slaughter, at least get to see the mountains in the distance while they ride in the truck to the abattoir and,  mon Dieu, isn't it beautiful?  It's the Chipotle way.  They really care.    

Or maybe they needed to pocket the money so they could use it later to run negative attack ads against a yet to emerge opponent.  Because those two ladies were Hillary Clinton and her campaign manager.

And we went nuts!  Days of analysis.  Did we ever imagine that two women ordering food at a Chipotle could cause such a stir?  Is this like a prognostication in Revelations?  Does it say

And lo, I saw the Whore of Babylon riding in from the over-privileged East towards the Land of Milk and Honey in the belly of a Beast that consumed the fruits of the Earth and released thick clouds of fire and brimstone into the air; and she and her trusted Lieutenants did descend upon an eatery, where they feasted on the flesh of happily raised farm animals wrapped in thin strips of unleavened bread, mingled with vegetables and peppers and perhaps a dollop of fat free sour cream; and they gave themselves over to gluttony and laughed as the juices dripped down their chins and onto their breasts for they didst forget to gather napkins at the counter; and they did not leave a small gratuity as was the custom of the Land but rather pocketed their spare talents for the future, and they were swallowed again by the Beast who, with an almighty fart of black smoke, did depart so that She might continue Her journey…

Or something like that?

Look, an old woman was hungry as she drove to Iowa (though the Economist reports that Hillary, by her own admission, hasn't driven a car since 1996).  She decided to stop at Chipotle and get a burrito bowl or chicken salad. She probably ate most of it.  Perhaps later it violently disagreed with her.  These are all normal person things.

But of course, Hillary Clinton is not at all normal.  None of these candidates are.  For the next....gosh, several hundred days?.....

For the next several hundred days all these candidates will do is stomp all over each other trying to show us how normal and down to earth they are, when the truth is they are anything but.  They are exceptional, they are rich, they are powerful.  They live in a completely different world.  Rand Paul especially....such an angry, angry place.

I kind of wish the candidates would honor that.  I'm not interested in where people eat or what they eat.  I don't give a flying fig if they leave some change in a change jar.

So to the candidates:  Don't waste time trying to prove how average you are.  I just want to know the answer to two questions:

How will you Govern?

Next time, would you consider going to Taco Bell?

Live Mas!