When I first heard that some dude (a Mr. Seth Grahame-Smith) had taken Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice and added a liberal dose of violent, gory, zombie mayhem, I was naturally incredulous. How dare someone sully a great work with such terrible kitsch, all in the name of making a buck! I was actually angry that NPR mentioned it on that awful "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" show I used to listen to, and almost became one of those equally awful people who have nothing better to do than write angry letters to editors, producers, and talk show hosts. And when I say letters, I mean letters. Signed, sealed, and delivered by liveried servants.
So I forgot about it. But it seemed, after a year or so, that it was everywhere I turned. When I was trying to find my wife a book she might enjoy for Christmas, I searched on Amazon for things other people who liked Jane Austen purchased, and there it was. And it was a New York Times Bestseller!
Still, it was a book I was too prejudiced to pick-up, but at last my pride (ha-HA!) was overcome in a Walmart when at last the medium sized volume and I came face to face in the form of a paperback. I couldn't resist. I was horrified by some of the prints of zombies eating Mr. Bingley's household staff, but when I flipped ahead a bit and found out that Lady Catherine's character was attended to by a host of ninjas, that sealed the deal. For you see, my cultural snobidity has only one real weak point, one chink in the armor of aloofness: Ninjas.
So I bought the book, and I held off on reading it until Halloween, as it seemed appropriate.
So...how was it?
Well, pretty good, actually. This is more than a [insert Zombie attack here] kind of job. The characters themselves and the very landscape have been altered by a zombie plague that has held England hostage for over fifty years. Elizabeth Bennet is striking, witty, and extremely proficient in the deadly arts, which she learned from her father and from time in the Orient. Mr. Darcy, likewise, was trained in Japan and is reknown for the many Zombies he has killed for King and Country. Lady Catherine is haughty old bitch of a Zombie fighter, who instead of chiding Elizabeth for her family's lack of a governess instead belittles her for the fact that they trained in China. All of them have their characters and diaologe in the book altered to account for this different, more violent history.
And it is shockingly violent, even though all the dinners and teas are still charmingly formal. Elizabeth manages to strangle one of Lady Catherine's ninjas with his own entrails. Mr. Wickham is rendered lame by Mr. Darcy as part of the deal that secures his marriage with Lydia Bennet. Lady Catherine and Miss Bennet duel to the death. And so much more.
That being said, the zombies are hardly scary to read about. What is scary about this book? The cover. Christ have mercy on us, the cover. I couldn't leave the book face up at night, for fear that the half-eaten young woman on the cover would stagger out of the book and enjoy me for a midnight snack. Even now it's turned face down on the table, and I am casting a wary glance over my shoulder, as if writing this unspeakable horror would make it come true. And if it's like half light the cover looks even worse....It freaks me out. Seriously.
But the truly amazing thing about this book is that in general much of Austen's words are left and the general plot is all her own, and at the end of the book as Mr. Darcy and Miss Bennet declare their love for each other I felt as mesmerized as I did when I read the regular Pride and Prejudice. Even when pretty much ruined as a classic by a horde of the undead, Austen's writing and her general story shine through, and that is a true testament to her work.
I'll close by answering some the disucssion questions in the back. After that I'm going to toss this book into a bonfire and sprinkle the ashes with Holy Water. You just can't be too careful.
#3.
The strange plague has been the scourge of England for "five and fifty years." Why do the English stay and fight, rather than retreat to the safety of eastern Europe or Africa?
Answer: Becuase they are the fucking Enlgish. It's just the way they are.
#6. Some critics have suggested that the zombies represent the authors' views toward marriage -- an endless curse that sucks the life out of you and just won't die. Do you agree, or do you have another opinion about the symbolism of the unmentionables?
Answer: I disagree with the marriage argument, becuase the amount of zombies in the book decreases as marriage for Elizabeth and her sisters becomes more likely. It is when they are most likely not to be married well, at the beginning of the book, that the zombies are at their most AND, incidentally, at their worst. At the end, when all is settled, there are fewer zombies about and they are easier to quell.
I think instead the zombies represent the social change about to be wrought by the industrial revolution. No matter how hard the aristocracy fights against the tides of history, no matter how hard they try to keep burying the emerging middle class, they just keep coming back and eventually the entire landscape of Britain will be changed. The aristocracy is doomed in this book by a zombie horde. In real life the steam engine sounded its death knell. You know it will take a while, but it will happen eventually. Graham-Smith and Ms. Austen obviousl realized that, and this book is taken as a warning to them.
#7. Does Mrs. Bennet have a single redeeming quality?
Answer: No.
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